Charmed
Charmed

Episode Report Card
Demian: C | 838 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Freaky Importance of Scrying Hard for the Power of Three Non-Blondes

...a blast of explosive mojo from Piper's Mighty Hands Of Discontent up in the nonexistent attic, which flips this Zakal person up towards the ceiling before dumping him back onto the carpeting. "How'd that feel?" Piper breezes from the far side of the room, where she stands with Fauxbe and Raige. "Now for the last time," she continues, advancing upon the wizard who should have been slaughtered in The Great Wizard Immolation Of 1746 but wasn't, because this show is ass, and I want to die, "have you or have you not foreseen any threats against us?" Zakal snots back something dismissive, so Fauxbe hurls one of the vanquishing vials into his chest, sending him towards The Waste Land on a billowing cloud of flame and wizard guts. "I did it!" Fauxbe enthuses. "Yeah, you did it," Piper snaps, outraged. "Why?" "We could have made him talk first!" Raige spazzes in agreement. "Not Zakal," Fauxbe sniffs all too knowingly. Piper and Raige eye her suspiciously, so Fauxbe shrugs, "I mean, it's not like he was gonna say anything." "What the hell were you thinking?" Piper growls in irritation. Fauxbe just shrugs and pouts and shrugs some more.

Down in Hell, Phoebe scans Savard's chamber as Patra and Pippi, or whatever the fuck her name is, squiggle in from points unknown to let their mentor know of Fauxbe's stunning success with a Power of Three vanquish. "It's time to switch one more sister," Savard grins. Packrat or Pippi or whoever the hell she is takes umbrage at this, demanding to know why they wouldn't swap out both of the remaining Manor Morons and go after The Slave King now. The Book of Shadows, dipshit. You need a good witch to abuse it for The Slave King's vanquish, because the Book can sense evil. Jesus Christ, but the demons are dumb on this show. You just know that Reaper guy's got chunks of bints like her in his stool. In any event, whichever one of these trampy demonettes is supposed to be Raige will head topside to play upon Piper's desire for her big, hard, icy Doltsicle, the plan being that Packrat or Pippi will convince Piper that The Slave King's responsible for it all. Pippi or Packrat -- or maybe it's both of them, actually -- is way stoked.

Charmed

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