What happens next is so ridiculous, I'm not even going to bother to try. Basically, during a hasty processing summit in the mini parlor, Piper theorizes that should they taunt The Dark Demonic Ps into using their demonic powers, The Dark Demonic Ps will stop channeling the Power of Three, which will allow the miniaturized Ps, despite their diminished powers, to escape. And it works. WHATEVER. Just as The Dark Demonic Ps prepare to launch a trio of Flaming Balls Of Death at the Dolthouse, the sisters grasp onto each other with Raige pressing her right hand against the Dolthouse wall to orb both Glamorous Ladies and Dolthouse back up to the nonexistent attic. WHAT. THE FUCK. EVER! Once there, the three babble at the stupid Retard to fetch the Book of Shadows and find the power-switching spell, which she is to alter by changing "powers" to "bodies" as she does below, after The Dark Demonic Ps have materialized:
What's theirs is yours,
What's yours is theirs.
I offer up this gift to share:
Switch the bodies through the air.
Bizarre, sparking fingers of lightning erupt from the Dolthouse to entangle The Dark Demonic Ps, who are sucked into the toy just as the Manor Ps are ejected from it. After a few quippy remarks are exchanged, Piper unleashes a single Hand that destroys both the demonettes and the Dolthouse itself in a fairly impressive fireball. "Well," the Retard assures them after the smoke has cleared, "they say imitation is the greatest form of flattery!" NO NO NO NO NO THEY DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT SAY THAT YOU STUPID STUPID FUCKING EVIL AWFUL EVIL BITCH THEY DO NOT AND HAVE NEVER HAVE NEVER SAID THAT BECAUSE WHAT THEY SAY WHAT THEY DO SAY IS that IMITATION IS THE SINCEREST FORM OF FLATTERY AND YOU ARE A WICKED A SATANIC A WICKED A MAGGOTY-NECKED A BAD ACTRESS SENT FROM THE DEEPEST THE DARKEST THE COLDEST PIT OF HELL TO KILL US ALL WITH YOUR STUPID FUCKING AWFUL EVIL STUPID BAD WICKED STUPID STUPIDITY YOU STUPID STUPID BITCH.
And look at that. Even Piper agrees with me, because she's shaking her head all, "Dumbass."
After the camera pans up the nighttime Manor façade, we cross-fade over to the same rooftop where Raige and Secretly INSANE Brody had a romantic candlelit dinner of their own, and wait for Raige to drop the bitchcraft bomb. It takes her forever and a day and two minutes and forty-three seconds, of course, but Darling Ivan Sergei gets in a good line when Hank tries to guess Raige's big secret: "You used to be a man before, right?" Get it, Gomez Addams? HE THINKS YOU'RE A MAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE A MOUSTACHE. Well, not so much in this scene, in which she actually looks quite lovely, but still. WAX. So, where was I? Oh, yeah. Ivan Sergei and Rose McGowan act the hell out of the little scene that follows, and Raige takes a page from the Dolt's book when she demonstrates her powers by tossing a spray of sparkly golden lights into the air above their heads, but the bottom line of it all is, Darling Henry loves her just the way she is. Awwwwwww. They kiss -- which has got to taste a little funny after all that Chinese take-out -- as the camera cross-fades into tonight's closing travelogue.