Repo Manor

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | Grade It Now!
The Freaky Importance of Scrying Hard for the Power of Three Non-Blondes

The gals eventually hang up on each other, and Phoebe hits the elevator bank to head down to the Grand Cherokee. She cheerily greets the gentleman occupying the just-arrived elevator car as she boards it, and it's Savard, and as soon as the doors close, he sweeps a hand behind her coif, sending Phoebe collapsing into an instant stupor upon the floor. At the last instant, though, he snatches at the collar of her jacket, in the process stripping it off her dropping body so he might pass it along to Phoenix, who squiggles into the car from points Not!warts to sneer, "I've always admired her sense of fashion," and I don't know if she's kidding with that or not, and I'm not entirely certain I care. Phoenix morphs into Phoebe form and dons Phoebe's jacket as Savard tells her, "The keys are in the pocket, and remember: Get the sisters to use the Power of Three as soon as possible, so we can see if this will work or not." "We have no idea what's going on in their lives right now," she reminds him. "Just wing it," he orders, "but don't get too eager, or you'll tip the sisters off." And with that, he kneels to wrap a paw around the real Phoebe's shoulder before squiggling away with her. And I guess I'll be referring to this other Feebs as Fauxbe for what has got to be the twenty-seventh time in the last six years, because "Phoenix" already contains the relevant elements of the two names that I' know what? Fuck it. No one cares anymore, am I right? Fauxbe strides out of the elevator car and into the first commercial break.

Phoebe rises into the gloom of what she believes is the actual Manor and warily calls out for her sisters. She picks her way into the parlor and bats at the light switch, to no effect. Finally noticing the flickering, blood-red light coming from outside, she crosses to the window and peers through the gauzy white curtains. Horrified by what she sees, she races to fling open the front door and scurry onto the porch. The shot cuts to reveal the miniaturized Feebs gawping at the dank, dimly lit underground chamber into which Savard had previously transported the Dolthouse. She seems ready to step onto the chamber's dirt floor when Savard suddenly squiggles in above her, lowering his foot as if to squish her like a garishly dressed stick insect beneath his boot. Phoebe scuttles back into the Dolthouse foyer and rocks around unsteadily as Savard hoists the toy house onto...a tree stump? In an Underworld cavern? Sure. We'll go with that. Stupid show. Savard pokes his ginormous face into the Dolthouse doorway and threatens, "First time's a foot. Next time? A [Flaming Ball Of Death]!" Phoebe gulps.

Meanwhile, Piper lights the gas on the center island's range to brew up a vanquish as Raige dejectedly lopes into the kitchen from the dining room. The two chat about Raige's impending date with Darling Henry, and then the two chat about Phoebe's move from the Manor and Piper's capital-I Issues with the entire situation before Fauxbe enters to blunder her way through the scene that follows, not knowing, of course, about Piper's request for the mandrake root and the wizard they're about to target and whatnot. She wades through a depressingly obvious bluff that both Piper and Raige should call her on but don't, because they're idiots, before surreptitiously conjuring a bit of mandrake root in her jacket. Rather triumphantly drawing the thing from her pocket, she smiles, "Let's go get those demons, shall we?" She then tosses it into the wizard vanquish now bubbling on the stove. The mix erupts, instantly cross-cutting to...

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