All The News That's Fit To Fuck Me. Up in the physically impossible garret, Phoebe and Vex Pexter natter about shit I so totally do not care about. Phoebe's wearing ankle-length culottes, by the way. Ankle-length culottes. Dumbass. Is this scene over yet? It is? Oh, thank God.

Over near "Columbia" "University," currently masquerading as a police station that is not Trudeau Memorial, formerly Andy's House Of Beef, formerly The Loneliest Precinct House In The World, Piper and Raige huddle in the Grand Cherokee across the street, waiting for The Retarded Bimbo to return from her reconnaissance mission to determine if it's safe to swap Piper for Maya. The Retard eventually arrives with news that Maya's been released into Nance's custody, and no, and never, and how stupid does this show think we are, and has this stupid show been cancelled yet, and if this stupid show hasn't been cancelled yet, WHY HAS THIS STUPID SHOW NOT BEEN CANCELLED YET, and scene.

Lair Of The ADA. Long story short, Maya's a spineless wimp who quickly finds herself hurtling forty-five stories down towards the filthy and unforgiving asphalt of a Dank And Forbidding Alleyway Of Defenestrated Doom from Nance's terraced apartment above. Basically, they bickered for a bit and then he pitched her over the railing, intending to have the death ruled a suicide once they scrape what little is left of her off the pavement. Unfortunately for him, Raige has discreetly orbed into an alcove with Piper during all of this, and the two quickly orb to the alleyway below, where they arrive just in time for Piper to freeze Spineless Maya about nine feet above the ground. Raige telekinetically orbs a suspiciously clean and convenient mattress from a Dumpster to the pavement beneath the plummeting fashion model, and Piper releases the freeze. Remember what I said earlier about the freeze not destroying an object's forward momentum, except when it does? Here's an example of the latter, for Maya does not in fact explode like some bloody meat sack upon hitting the suspiciously clean and convenient mattress, as one would expect her to do after dropping from so great a height. Maybe she's special. Regardless, The Amazing Non-Exploding Maya also does not greet Glamour Piper with, "Who the hell are you and why do you look exactly like me?" because this show blows, and I want to die. Piper and Raige help The Amazing Non-Exploding Maya to her feet, and the shot cuts over to...