Charmed
Charmed

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702 USERS: C+
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Caged!

...the Manor's nighttime façade, and I had completely forgotten about the worthless scene that follows. Well, almost worthless scene. Basically, The Retarded Bimbo and The Amazing Non-Exploding Maya share one of those "Yes! Witches really do exist!" conversations we've heard at least three hundred and forty-seven times over the last seven years, before The Amazing Non-Exploding Maya provides The Retard with some information the latter can actually use. "Walter can't stand the fact that he's getting older," The Amazing Non-Exploding Maya explains. "He's, like, paranoid about it." The Retard's jaw goes a little less slack. Just a tiny bit, but it's noticeable. "He does everything he can to pretend it's not happening," The Amazing Non-Exploding Maya continues dismissively, "lifts, Botox, implants -- he even has a manicurist come over every night to keep his nails neat and trim. Like that does any good." The Retard silently arrives at a cunning plan, because she's so smart.

Meanwhile, up in the nonexistent attic, the Glamoured Glamorous Idiots muddle through a few options until The Retarded Bimbo bursts into the nonexistent room to share with them the brilliantly cunning plan that she totally arrived at all on her own down there in the kitchen, because she's so hella smart. The Glamoured Glams ignore her. Heh. The Retard finally captures their attention with another near-ultrasonic shriek and, after name-checking that pawn shop guy The Late Lamented dealt with all those many years ago, The Retard proposes they find inspiration for their current mission in Barbas, The Demon Of Fear Who Was Supposed To Appear Only Once Every Thirteen Hundred Years, Was Vanquished, Then Came Back, Was Vanquished Again, Then Came Back Again, Was Vanquished Again, I Think, And Maybe Came Back One More Time After That To Annoy And Get Vanquished Again, And Even Then Never Really Went Away, As This Exchange Proves. God, I hate Barbas. In any event, The Retard suggests they pretend to be the ghost of The Amazing Non-Exploding Maya and terrorize Nance into a confession by "prey[ing] on Nance's deepest fear." The Manor Morons shoot confused looks at each other, but it's The Retarded Bimbo's vacuous simper that escorts us into the final commercial break.

Charmed

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