Charmed
Scry Hard

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 1 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Welcome To The Dolthouse

"Tie it off," the Dolt replies, speaking, of course, to Piper, and HATE. I hate call-and-response transitions. Haaaaaate. Piper finishes stitching up the wound in the Dolt's back fat as they banter about growing old together, or something, before Piper notices Craven's ominous shadow passing across the dollhouse window, all but obliterating the light from the room outside. She crosses to push aside the curtains, and upon spotting Zankou on the far side of the nonexistent attic, gasps, "What is he doing here?" Zankou obliges her by loudly discussing his plan to absorb the dread Woogy, which he should be able to do "now that evil has taken control of the Manor." Piper gets a panicked look on her face as she spins from the dollhouse window to vanish into the commercial break.

Dolthouse Of Doom. Night has fallen outside the Manor, so Piper and the Dolt find themselves navigating the Dolthouse halls virtually in the dark, which they somehow manage to do while plotting out possible courses of action. The Dolt's of the opinion that they should escape, make their way across the nonexistent attic to the Book of Shadows, and climb the Book's stand to summon Phoebe and Raige with a spell. And that's a stupid, foolish, idiotic, asinine, harebrained, half-witted, ridiculous plan, Dolt. You are, as you've noted, three inches tall. How do you expect to scale the four-foot stand's single, central, rounded support and then make your way from the underside's midpoint to the top of the now-enormous platform? I'm not seeing any Batman-esque Dolt Utility Belt wrapped around that rapidly expanding waist of yours. Asshole. Unfortunately, Piper has few other options, so the two stroll through the Dolthouse's main floor until she locates the spot on the miniature sun porch where everything supposedly swings apart. The Dolt smashes a toy chair and attempts to pry open an exit, but his wee little body's too weak to manage the task. So, he rather blithely instructs Piper to deploy her Hands, unreasonably reasoning that the Psycho's protective mojo affects only the Dolthouse's doors and windows. Just go with it. Piper, clearly mindful of the battering she received the last time took on her batshit son's crazy force field, gingerly complies, and manages somehow to knock the side of the house outwards a bit. After the two edge their way into the attic, there's a satisfying and showy little effects shot of their tiny figures scampering across the highly polished floor to the Book's stand as two henchdemons obliviously guard the attic door. Actually, to be honest with you, the miniaturization effects tonight have been uniformly superlative. Pity the writing sucks a big one.

Down in the Bridal Boudoir, Craven enters to find Zankou perched on the bed, avidly poring over Piper's diary. Zankou's stumbled across the entry related to Prue's Death By Alyssa and muses that, as "humans are slaves to their own emotions" and as "the strongest emotion is love," his "miscalculation" regarding Piper's devotion to her husband was...avoidable? It's not clear, and I think the only reason this monologue exists is to show that Zankou, unlike so many demons we've known in the past, is more than able to learn from his mistakes. In any event, Craven listens patiently enough to all of this before finally clearing his throat to announce the discovery of the Nexus. The demons exit into the upper hall.

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Charmed

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