She's A Man, Baby, A Man!

Episode Report Card
She's A Man, Baby, A Man!

Other side of the bar. Phoebe confronts Video Girl. Pheebs gets another hot flash, showing that the succubus is already in the alley with Prue. She tells Video Girl, "It's not you." Video Girl is all, "Wow, thank you for telling me that."

Alley. PruePaul looks around. In an astounding plot twist, the succubus actually turns out to be ... PHOEBE! As if! It's Darla. PruePaul tries to throw 'tude at her, but Prue's power doesn't work. Darla tells PruePaul that he wants her, he needs her, he should tell her she's "irresistible." PruePaul does so. Darla whips out her toothy tongue-on. Piper freezes her. The docile Ps ask PruePaul why he didn't use his power. Phoebe queries if he was "impotent." PruePaul gets his bitch on about being called that word. Darla unfreezes and bolts down the alley. Deputy Horndog pulls his gun on her but she throws him into the ever-present conveniently-placed stack of empty cardboard boxes. Daryl Morris steps into her path and tells this seemingly defenseless woman to freeze. She sticks her snake tongue out. Daryl shoots her to death, deciding to ask later if that was a rabid penis in her mouth or was she just angry to see him. He wonders if the Ps are OK. They think so. Piper tells him that he "got his collar." But they wonder: How come Prue's still a guy?

Coroner's office. Same night. The coroner tells Deputy Horndog that Darla's blood yielded extremely high levels of testosterone. Deputy Horndog thinks that's really weird, but her death's "a real shame -- she's a babe!" The coroner leaves. Deputy Horndog makes sure he's gone, then takes the sheet off the naked corpse. Is this show actually going where I think it's going? Dear Lord. Before Deputy Horndog can unzip, Darla's tongue snake whips out of her mouth and into his, sucking the goods out of his cross-eyed, shaking head. Payback's a bitch, ain't she? Yuck yuck.

Do those Fisher-Price Kick-and-Play crib pianos come in adult-size? As if I need another reason not to get out of bed in the morning.

Halliwell Manor. Same night. Piper and PruePaul are in the attic. Piper is leafing through the BoS, wondering why the succubus didn't incinerate. PruePaul bitches about not only being a man, but also losing his telekinetic power. Piper, not listening, looks at Gordon Manor through the window and sighs. PruePaul tells his sister that "men are just as afraid of being rejected as women are. That's probably why Dan hasn't asked [her] out." Piper: "Like you'd know." PruePaul: "I'm a guy, aren't I?" Whoa! So, ladies, be sure to remember that guys have feelings, too. And they all happen to have the same thoughts and feelings. You can't go wrong with that knowledge! Just then, Pheebs rushes in and tells the hard Ps that the succubus killed again -- she just had a hot flash. PruePaul wonders aloud how they can stop the witch. He remembers that when he fell under her spell, he sensed that she would be "devastated" if she were "rejected." Pheebs: "Great, we're dealing with a sensitive man-killing demon?" PruePaul tells the docile Ps to keep processing a solution, while he "takes a leak." The docile Ps yell out simultaneously, "Don't forget to put the seat back down!" No, PruePaul, please keep that seat up! I thought I'd get through this episode without hearing the granddaddy of all sexist-blather attempts at humor, and now I'm definitely going to heave!

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