The docile Ps look at the BoS together. Phoebe has a hot flash, showing the succubus appearing behind PruePaul. Then they hear a crash in the bathroom. They're too late. Darla took PruePaul out a broken window.
Penthouse Lair. Darla, in black lingerie, walks over to a prone PruePaul on her bed. She compliments him on his tape, and climbs on top of him all predatory-like. She tells him that he won't be able to resist her.
Halliwell Manor. Piper is pacing. She says they have to find PruePaul. Pheebs is sitting cross-legged with her eyes closed. She says she's connected psychically with the succubus, but can't figure out where Darla's apartment is. Piper has an idea: Phoebe should reverse the connection and use the succubus to give PruePaul advice on how to resist the demon. Piper asks what Darla is saying. Pheebs: "She wants Prue to want her." (I was singing "She needs Prue to need her/ She's begging Prue to beg her" at this point, too.) Piper tells Phoebe to tell Prue through Darla that Prue will never want Darla. Did you get all that? Phoebe does it. Then Piper tells Phoebe to tell Prue through Darla that PruePaul is not a man, but a woman. She does. Then Piper tells Phoebe to tell Prue through Darla that since Prue is a woman, she can resist Darla. She does.
Penthouse Lair. Long story short: Prue rejects Darla. Tongue-on. Darla flung back into egg-sac armoire. Candles fall. Fire starts. Succu-bar-b-que. PruePaul turns back into Prue. Prue feels herself up and beams.
Halliwell Manor. Pheebs tells Piper that the succubus is dead and Prue is fine.
P3AD. Shot of The Cranberries' new CD cover as crowds file inside. Prue struts into the club in a black dress and strappy silver pumps. Phoebe and Piper suck up to her about the heat wave beginning again and Prue looking hot, hot, hot. They fan her with "jazz hands." Prue is "just happy to be back in heels." ["Obviously, a man wrote that line, since any woman in her right mind prays every night of her life that Pumas will become the formal-footwear standard. In other words, ‘as if.’" -- Sars] Prue hopes Alan likes her outfit. Phoebe thought Alan was "over." Prue blames it on "a little gender confusion." Piper wonders if Prue "learned some things about being a woman by being a man." Oh, for the love of Mike, here it comes. Can the writers just put the lesson for the day at the top of the hour so we have more time to sew it into a needlepoint sampler? Prue's epiphany: "[The sexes] are different! Which I'm glad about that [sic], but we're also similar in many ways. We all have the same emotions. It’s just if we don't communicate honestly, then we read between the lines and get everything screwed up." Read between the line in the crack of my ass, Prue. And shut the hell up. Just then, Dan enters the club. Piper admits that she used some advice "from the brother she never had," took a chance and asked Dan out. Piper leaves her sisters and gloms onto Dan. Phoebe tells Prue that -- get this -- she decided to finally see a doctor! It's Non-Discriminating-TV-Owen! Guffaw! What a mother-lode of comic payoff! Not! Then the announcer guy from last week, who I thought would have gotten his SAG card and moved on already, introduces "for a one-night-only benefit for the Animal Rights Fund -- The Cranberries!" This is an ironic choice, since the minute Dolores O'Riordan opens her mouth to sing, dogs all over Northern California howl and whimper in pain. Prue meets up with Alan. He's so glad that she called. She says "a really nice guy" encouraged her to. Alan wants to thank him. Prue will. Then she interrupts their conversation by whispering "Cranberries" and leading him to the dance floor. Piper and Full-Of-Himself-Stalker-Dan dance. Phoebe and Non-Discriminating-TV-Owen dance. Prue and Terrified-Of-Assertive-Women-Alan dance. Dolores does a half-hearted jig.