...the Manor, just in time for Piper to expel the dead-eyed Psycho from her uterus atop the dining room table. I find myself pausing the tape frequently to stare at Big Gay Chris, because I've seen the rest of this crap at least eight times already, and none of it was terribly interesting to begin with. The Pretty, however, is an endless source of fascination. I need help. And the screen flashes white once more to escort us over to...

...the Only Hospital In San Francisco and wow. Drew Fuller is looking good. Oh, what the hell? Get out of the way, you stupid Dolt. No, seriously, SCRAM. I don't want to watch you get all weepy watching yourself get all weepy as the nurse hands you the genetic catastrophe meant to represent Tiny Gay Chris. I didn't want to watch it the first time, for Christ's sake. God, you're an asshole. And I hate you. Get out of the way! Get out of the way! GET OUT OF THE WAY! Thank you! Big Gay Chris is still giving Dear Old Dolt a pep talk, but it's tiresome and tedious and boring and I never cared about the Dolt in the first place, so whatever. And then Big Gay Chris fades out, taking with him any interest I had in these scenes. Shit. They'd best be bringing him back later in the season, or some unsuspecting show runner is going to wake up one morning with a crash axe embedded in his skull. The screen flashes white one more time, and we're...

...back in the nonexistent attic, where the Dolt snaps out of it and opens his eyes to murmur Piper's name with a smile on his face. Just then, a Jolly Green Van Der Beek whisks in through the ceiling and dive-bombs the Dolt's face. For some reason, it's decided to cloak itself from Phoebe and Piper this time around. The Dolt immediately drops back into his coma, and the screen flares white AGAIN to take us to...

...a soundstage overflowing with dry-ice fog. The Dolt snaps awake and starts when he realizes he's surrounded by white marble headstones. I'm Not Candy materializes and introduces himself by saying, "I want you to see the real future." He directs the Dolt's attention to the largest of the markers, which features "HALLIWELL" in an arch at the top with the names of Grams, Teeth!, The Late Lamented, the Reconstituted Glamorous Ladies, the Psycho, and the Pretty below in birth -- but not, puzzlingly, in death -- order. We get a terrifying fish-eye lens view straight up the Dolt's nose as he pants his way into the next commercial break.