Nonexistent attic. Aftermath. Phoebe and Piper try to figure out what the fuck just happened, but because they're Phoebe and Piper...well, need I say more? Meanwhile, another flashing screen has yanked us back into the Dolt's fevered little brain, where I'm Not Candy proceeds to lay a little mind-fucking science on the Dolt's massive ass. As best as I can recall, it's the same "we're a power beyond good and evil" speech they gave to Cole a few years back. With, of course, the masterful addition of the guilt-inducing information that the Dolt's entire family will die before its time should the battle between good and evil continue. "Duality is self-perpetuating," I'm Not Candy asserts with a vague hint of disgust at one point, and I'd suspect that was a reference to the recent disappointing election were I dealing with any other show. However, because this is Charmed, I'll breeze past it to note that I'm Not Candy argues that the struggles we've witnessed up to this point will all, in the end, be meaningless, because the two sides will simply fight on and on until they destroy each other, taking the entire universe with them. I think that's what he claimed, at any rate. Bottom line is, they're trying to inject a heavy dose of complexity into the show's mythos, and I'm sorry, guys, but it's a little too late to run so deeply philosophical after six years of rampant idiocy, innumerable Slampieces Of The Week, atrocious fashion choices, non-existent continuity, Stoopid Magikal Kreatures, disgusting personal hygiene, assy Harry Potter knockoffs, contrivance out the wazoo, utterly embarrassing production errors, ludicrous stunt-casting, the obliteration of the show's central premise, and Phoebe. Most of all Phoebe. At one point during all of this speechifying, I'm Not Candy slices through the air with his hand, and he and the Dolt are plunged into a black void, which supposedly represents what will exist after the final battle has been fought. The Dolt begins screaming as the camera shoots upwards and back, drawing away from the two until they're tiny dots on the screen before cutting back over to...
Episode Report CardDemian: C- | 390 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT