Someone To Witch Over Me

Episode Report Card
Demian: D+ | Grade It Now!
Big Chris To Watch Over Me

Kerr mentions how instrumental he was in eliminating Pepper Anderson's threats of exposure, allowing Raige an opening to wonder what ever happened to The Best Policewoman In The History Of Forever. "Does it matter?" Kerr dodges. "It does if you hurt her," Raige duhs. "I'm not here to hurt anyone," he non-answers, perching on the back of the sofa and crossing his arms. They flirt some more, and when the second round of flirting is done, Raige notices the altered image on Kerr's laptop. She crosses to sit at the desk as Kerr hovers over her shoulder, explaining the Whatever Technology as "an EM filter," whatever the fuck that's supposed to be. "What are those?" Raige squints, referring to what clearly are smears of a supernatural nature, and I'm just going to assume she's playing dumb to get in his pants, because boys like it when they have to explain complicated stuff to dumb girls. Kerr correctly surmises the white smear is a Protector the dark smear wishes to capture, adding that the sudden disappearances of powerful Protectors due to dark demonic mischief is the only way to explain the spate of unlikely deaths, but that's not really important. What is important is that, while Kerr has been rambling along like that right next to her ear, Raige's panties have become soaking wet. I really hope he Scotchgarded that chair. Raige, in the throes of an embarrassingly amusing lovestruck stupor, gazes dreamily at him for far too long after he's finished talking, then dithers and flutters and generally behaves like the completely besotted ditz she now is once she realizes how silly she must look. I have no idea why, but it's sort of endearing for some strange reason. Kerr allows himself a hint of a smile before noting that they'll have to "wait for the next fire" to see if he's correct in his assumptions. "Interesting," he adds rather cryptically while giving Raige the eye. She matches his gaze for a moment before we cut over to...

...the top of the Golden Gate Bridge, where the Dolt slouches in despair until two Jolly Green Van Der Beeks materialize to make with the taunting and such. "Don't resist us!" they demand as they sweep past. The Dolt whines and panics and orbs out. As soon as he's gone, the two male Avatars from last week smear onto the tower to strategize. "He must join us willingly," Not Candyman reminds his comrade, "but first [he] must see there is no other option." Suddenly, I'm Not Candy senses something and stretches out a hand to scan...I don't know, the world in general? Whatever. I so do not care about the troubled Dolt, nor do I give a rat's ass about those who would convert him. "There may be another way," I'm Not Candy eventually reveals after a moment's scanning. "Another opportunity," he elaborates, "to show [the Dolt] that one cannot ignore the truth forever." His taciturn companion nods thoughtfully as I'm Not Candy pensively peers at the Marin Headlands, or something.

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