Basement. The Dolt eases open the door at the top of the stairs and calls down into the gloom for Big Gay Chris. He picks his way down the steps until Big Chris's hunched-over form suddenly lurches into the light at the bottom of the stairs. As Chris shuffles forward, the expression on his face shifts from pain to rage, and I'm once again surprised at how goddamn pretty he is. "Bastard!" he spits, shooting out one of his hands. His palm emits a stream of webbing that passes harmlessly through the Dolt's defensive cloud of orbs. The Dolt rematerializes in the kitchen and expeditiously shuts and locks the basement door as Phoebe and Raige race in from the dining room. "What happened?" Raige blurts. "He attacked me," the Dolt pants, looking for all the world like he's just pissed himself in terror. Pantywaist. Heh. Much blathering follows about the possible source of Big Gay Chris's Dolt-directed animosity before Phoebe finally drops the paternity bomb. The Dolt, gobsmacked, staggers over to the breakfast table and eases himself into a chair, much as Piper did a couple of scenes ago. I don't know if I should applaud that little bit of parallelism or ignore it in favor of the Dolt's anguished mutterings. Oh, who am I trying to kid? Like paying attention to the Dolt is ever an option. Meanwhile, Raige's cell phone rings, so she slips into the other room to answer; Phoebe plants herself in a chair next to the Dolt to deliver a little pep talk that basically amounts to, "Process the new information regarding Chris immediately, because we desperately need your help, and God knows how worthless you are when you're fully present, so get it together already, 'kay?" The Dolt rather conveniently remembers that The Spider Woman's last victim was a wizard, so he orbs off to Not!warts in search of something he can use to scry for the wizard's location. In the meantime, Phoebe's to search the Book for an antidote and prepare a batch for Big Gay Chris. Raige wanders back into to the room to announce she must return to P3, as "The Wicked Witch has struck again." Oh, Christ on a damn stick. Would you believe I'd already forgotten about that stupid subplot? Raige vanishes upwards as Phoebe purses her lips and phrets. Or something like that.
Episode Report CardDemian: C | 442 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT