Spider-Chris, realizing Raige is on to him, scurries back into the parlor, where he flares and morphs into Chris Of The Spider Woman. Phoebe scoops up the antidote as she and Raige prepare to race into the parlor. Meanwhile, Chris Of The Spider Woman stalks on up to "Untitled in Fiberglass No. 3 (Piper Halliwell)." When Phoebe darts into the room to shout, "No!" he replies by flinging out first one hand, then the other, spitting out webbing that propels Phoebe backwards through the air to the foyer wall, where it glues her hands to the paint. Raige is next, flipping her own antidote vial at her infected nephew, but Chris Of The Spider Woman zaps the thing out of the air before affixing Raige to the upper part of the banister. The Dolt's last in line, loping in to cry, "Chris, stop! This isn't you!" Chris Of The Spider Woman latches onto the Dolt's neck and slams him against the wall. "Wanna bet?" he jeers, and I'm sorry, but Drew Fuller looks ridiculous. The red eyes are kind of cool, but those Glamour-Length Lee Press-On nails have got to go. He also, frankly, could have used a little more rehearsal time with his prosthetic teeth, because he's lisping and choking all over the place on his own spit. Oh, well. He's still pretty, and I suppose that's what really matters. Chris hurls the Dolt headfirst onto the stairwell landing. The Dolt quickly returns to his feet and whirls around in time to catch some more of Chris's webbing as Chris pastes his father's hands to the window frame and wall, and I just now realize what bothered me so much about the stairwell in "Headless Bitches." It wasn't that they'd repainted it. What they actually did was replace the fucking window that's been there for five and a half years with a goddamned solid wall. And as arriving at that realization so late in the game has made me feel as thick-witted and dull as the Feebs, I'll be moving this along. With his relatives plastered all over the stairwell, Chris Of The Spider Woman is free to snag "Untitled in Fiberglass No. 3 (Piper Halliwell)" and orb away. "Bug spray," Raige groans. "We should have used bug spray." Wah. Wah. Waaaaaaah! The Manor Morons hang in place for a bit before dropping into the commercial break.
Episode Report CardDemian: C | 442 USERS: B-
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