Raige, conveniently enough, has, and rises from the love seat to cross to the table with the Book as she reads aloud, "[The Spider Woman] is an evil creature that emerges from its hidden lair every hundred years to capture and feed off the most powerful magical being it can detect." I know there's a Chita Rivera joke in there somewhere. "In this case," Raige adds, ignoring me while settling into a chair, "that would be you." "And me," Chris perks. The ladies stare at him blankly. "Sort of," he shrugs with a tiny voice. Hee. "You must be so proud," Piper smirks before noticing that the Book also contains ingredients for a vanquishing potion. "What say we make this eight-legged freak wish she had never been hatched?" she quips. Big Chris immediately objects, citing his mother's delicate condition. Raige agrees, noting that without the force field, Piper's pretty much useless. "Do you have to keep rubbing that in?" Chris snits. "Aren't there any therapists in the future?" Raige retorts. Chris stares her down for a moment before turning back to his mother to assert, "We need Phoebe." No you don't. This episode has been moving along rather nicely without her. Piper agrees with me, but for a different reason. She doesn't want to interrupt the Dim One's date with "Mark." "Actually, it's Mike this week," Raige corrects. "No, it's Mitch, but who cares?" Chris peeves impatiently. "We need her." Piper subtly rolls her eyes as if to say, "Christ, my sister's a slut." Heh. Raige babbles out a reminder of Phoebe's vision quest from a couple of episodes ago, noting that ever since then, Phoebe's been focusing on getting knocked up. Or something like that. I don't care, because at this moment, my shockingly pretty husband gets all woozy, gingerly runs his fingers along the gashes in his neck, and wonders, "Does the Book say anything about that spider being poisonous?" Raige and Piper wiggle their eyebrows at each other.
Episode Report CardDemian: C | 442 USERS: B-
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