Charmed
Spin City

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Chris Of The Spider Woman

Eventually, we land at Not!warts, where the miraculously healed Dolt's dropping off Piper and the Psycho for an extended stay. The Psycho's standing on his own, by the way. He also has a mullet. Evil! Piper and the Dolt hold the Psycho's hands while they chat, and I have to admit, they look pretty cute doing so. The plan, apparently, is for Piper and the Psycho to remain at Not!warts until she goes into labor. Piper urges the Dolt not to give up on Big Gay Chris, then toddles out of the Not-So-Great Room with the Psycho as Gideon arrives for boring! The Dolt orbs out. Gideon twiddles his moustache. I'm seriously going to start calling him Snidely Whiplash.

P3. Dot-bomb yuppies. Guest testicle. Phoebe. She's dragged another one of her "Knock Me Up NOW!" dates to the club, and swings by the bar to pick up a round of drinks from Raige. They chat about Phoebe's date for a bit before Raige totes a tray of cocktails over to the Stoopid Magikal Kreatures on the other side of the bar. Who knew they could drink? From the looks of things, the ogre favors rum and Coke, the assy nymrod's sucking down a screwdriver, and the stupid leprechaun's got a glass of white wine. I hate this show.

The guest testicle leads us into another brief closing travelogue that whisks us over to the Golden Gate Bridge. Chris sits cross-legged atop one of the main supports, quietly regarding the fog-enshrouded traffic on the deck far below. In orbeth the Dolt, who wants to talk. "There's nothing to talk about," Chris replies thickly. "I think there is," the Dolt offers. "It doesn't matter," Chris insists, his eyes wet with tears. It does to the Dolt. "You're my son. I think I deserve to know what I did that's so bad." Chris sighs and glances down before leveling his gaze at the Dolt and admitting, "You were never there for me. You were there for everybody else -- for Mom, [the Psycho], half the world -- but you were never there for me. You didn't have the time." The Dolt, looking guilty, suggests that maybe Chris traveled to the past to salvage not only his brother's life, but also his relationship with his father. Chris begins to weep and sobs, "I doubt it," before orbing away. The Dolt sighs in the breeze as we fade to black.

Next week, it's another clip show, this time centered on the Glamorous Ladies' collective misdeeds with regard to, um, something. I'm sure it's all Phoebe's fault. Isn't it always?

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Charmed

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