The gals plus Big Gay Chris arrive at the underground parking garage and emerge from the elevator. Piper leads the way with, "Why are you so edgy, anyway?" "It's not me in there that I was thinking about," Chris explains. "It's you. I'm just making sure you're okay." As the three pass out of the frame, Raige snarks, "Now, see, this is where I'd ask for money to go to the movies." The shot shifts to a blurry overhead of the three cruising through the garage as Chris replies, "Very funny. Actually, in the future, you're the one I go to for money." Yeah, I can see Piper being a tightwad with her kids, but that's not important. What is important is that Raige does not immediately come back with, "I thought I was dead in your future, pretty boy." Instead, she oohs something about being rich, and the three continue on towards her car as The Presence With The Shitty Eyesight watches them go. The shot shifts back to normal as Raige wonders why Chris chose not to hit up the Dolt for cash. Well, duh, you dimwit. The Dolt is and always has been an unemployed deadbeat mooching off his chronically overworked wife. Chris mutters something along the lines of the Dolt "not being a factor," leading Raige to eyebrow, "What does that mean?" "I'd rather not talk about it," Chris promptly and predictably replies. "Future consequences?" Piper leads. "More like future issues," Chris shoots back. "Father-son problems," Raige coos, eager for dirt. "I have an idea!" Chris zings. "Let's change the subject!" "To what?" Raige mugs. How about that ghastly demonette swinging into the frame from somewhere above their heads? Works for Chris, who -- get this -- physically hurls his bloated, six-months-gone mother to the concrete beside Raige's Volkswagen. Nice. As if to punish him for his stupidity, the ghastly demonette with the shitty eyesight hisses and swipes at his neck with her claws. Chris falls against the car in shock and pain as Raige, thinking fast, employs her orbing telekinesis to summon a hefty, industrial-sized fire extinguisher from its mount on the nearby wall. The thing dissolves into a blur of orbs that she redirects in the general direction of the ghastly demonette's head. The demonette executes a Matrix-y backflip to avoid the thing, then turns her attention to Piper, and we finally get a good look at her low-rent, Elvira-wannabe wardrobe. Poor Man's Cassandra Peterson snarls, so Piper unleashes a Hand Of Discontent. Unfortunately, her aim's a little off, likely due to the fact that her son just physically hurled her bloated, six-months-gone ass to the concrete, and she vanquishes a light bulb. Poor Man's Cassandra Peterson morphs down into an enormous CGI spider that skitters across the floor to disappear into a duct.
Danger passed -- at least momentarily -- Big Gay Chris crosses to his mother's side and helps her to her feet. "You guys okay?" Raige asks, joining them. Chris winces, "I don't know -- am I?" as he turns back to Raige to display a series of ruddy, painful-looking gashes in his neck where The Spider Woman slashed him. "Am I?" he repeats as he pivots towards Piper. It takes a second for Piper to realize what he's really asking, and a wave of concern washes across her face as both she and the camera focus on her gargantuan midsection. We linger on the temporary home of Fetal Gay Chris for a moment before scuttling into the opening credits.