When we return from the break, we discover that Piper's turned into Dungeon Mistress Barbie while we were away, and good God, that's a bad look for her. The quilted leather bustier and matching pants I could almost deal with, but the hiddy blouse she's sporting up top? It's got mutton sleeves, people. What were they thinking? Anyway, Piper stands next to the pentagrammed table with Excalibur lying before her, and as we already know that this is A Very Bad Deal For Piper, the subsequent scene is utterly lacking in tension. It also means that this dialogue about Piper creating a new world according to her own desire is pointless. Well, except for the part where it becomes clear that Morgaunt's just feeding her a line to get in her quilted leather pants. I'm assuming there's a point involved in that. They mack, but Morgaunt keeps his eyes open the entire time the way demons tend to do on this show, so it's not exactly The Sexy. As they kiss, he surreptitiously reaches for the sword. Unfortunately for Morgaunt, Excalibur's also pissed Atterton got to roll around on a couple of animal skins with Vaughn, so it glows up in a fit of jealous pique and slides across the table away from his hand. Morgaunt tenses in frustration. Piper, detecting his change in mood, pulls away to wonder what's wrong. He covers by announcing that it's time to gather her knights. Piper has some ideas, but Morgaunt shoots them down. He will "be [her] counsel," he insists, as he knows who will best serve her. "But they will not come easily," he cautions. Piper must "force them to join" her. Piper doesn't like the sound of that, but decides to play along for now.
Up on the sun porch, Raige tries and fails to scry for Piper. The Dolt's returned from Whitelighterland, and for once, he's arrived with some useful information. While Piper was meant to draw the sword from the stone, it was only to pass the thing along to the true Chosen One. Phoebe supposes that Piper's actually the new Jacuzzi Floozy, and the Dolt confirms that Phoebe's not entirely wrong. The Dolt further notes that "only the ultimate power on earth can handle Excalibur," which is why Piper's turning "evil." Phoebe, by the way, has been lugging Tiny Gay Chris around during all of this, and if you haven't figured out who this episode's true Queen Arthur is by now, you're an idiot. Just hang your head in shame, numbskull. Raige's scrying crystal slams down upon a couple of unspecified map coordinates, and she asks with a rhetorical lift of her brow, "Guess who just surfaced?"