Sympathy For The Demon

Episode Report Card
Demian: C | Grade It Now!
Sympathy For The Literary Convention

Out in the upper hallway, "the Dolt" orbs in, sporting numerous bruises and a ripped shirt and claiming that he orbed back into the Manor with Cole just before Barbas bricked over the exits. I trust that I'm not spoiling anything by placing his name in quotation marks like that. In fact, let's just call him the Bolt for this next scene. Piper worries that the Bolt left Cole all by his lonesome on the main floor, and volunteers to fetch him with the supposed husband. Raige splutters against splitting up. Phoebe, idiot that she is, shrieks, "Do we have a choice?" Raige raises an immensely irritated brow and rolls her eyes. Piper and the Bolt head down the main stairwell while Phoebe and Raige retreat to the attic.

Down in the foyer, the cunning Bolt assaults Piper with another hallucination, all the while pretending neither to hear nor to see the vision over by the front doors. It's of Piper on what I would guess is her seventh or eighth birthday, clad in a lilac-colored silk dress, delightedly skipping over to Grams -- hey, Grams! -- and thanking her for the doll she received. Grams beams and reveals that Daddy Dearest Victor Bennett actually chose Piper's present. On cue, Daddy Dearest strides out of the parlor to wrap the little girl in a hug. Suddenly, a rather attractive dark demonic force sent from the flaming maw of Hell squiggles into the hallway to hurl an FBOD at the trio by the door. The three hallucinations dive for cover, and the FBOD vanquishes a plant. Grams leaps to her feet and spits, "Hellspawn demon, creature of death -- fire shall take your every breath!" The rather attractive dark demonic force dissolves in an explosion of flame. Grams rules. Hallucinatory Piper races into Grams's arms as Daddy Dearest straps his bitch on to berate Grams for raising his daughters as witches. This, supposedly, is the final fight Daddy Dearest had with Grams regarding his daughters' collective future -- the one that sent him away from the Manor for good until he returned as the Teflon Dad in "Thank You For Not Morphing." However, according to Prue and Daddy Dearest themselves in the spiteful crapfest also known as "We All Scream For Ice Cream," this fight was precipitated at a much earlier date by Prue's inadvertent trip to Molesterland. So, Contrivance? Thanks for nothing, you cheap slut. Next time you and Foreshadowing feel like a threeway, hit on a literary device of lesser importance like Deus Ex Machina. I hear he's got a sling.

So. Anyway. Back to the continuing argument. Daddy Dearest snarls, "If they're brought up around this evil, they'll always live in fear -- they'll never be happy!" Grams tuts and sighs dismissively. Hee! We cut back to Piper, who's growing increasingly distraught as the Bolt morphs into Barbas. "See?" he whispers in her ear. "Even your daddy knew. Your happiness can never last." Piper's lower lip trembles as her eyes fill with tears. Barbas flickers out. Nice scene. Completely inaccurate, of course, but nice nevertheless.

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