Charmed
Sympathy For The Demon

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Demian: C | Grade It Now!
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Sympathy For The Literary Convention

Cole stumbles through the hallway towards the elevators, nearly ramming his sweaty mug into the camera lens. It's sort of like that bit from It's A Wonderful Life where George Bailey races into the street from what should be his mother's happy home but is now a rundown boarding house and goggles in Jimmy Stewart's best approximation of "horrified disbelief," only this is in color and not nearly as amusing. Cole struggles to loosen his tie as he slips into an elevator car. Two middle-aged suits examining a file eye him warily. The one on the left sneers, "You're an embarrassment to us all." Cole whips around as the suits' eyes glow red as well. "Give it up, Cole," Suit The First taunts. "You can never be good." Cole howls and hurls a Flaming Ball Of Death into the two gentlemen. As they burst into flame in the tiny, enclosed space, Cole falls back against the wall, his hands crossed defensively over his face. He slowly lowers his arms to find the two suits gaping at him. "You okay?" Suit The First asks. Cole gasps and...

...barrels through another hallway and into his office. Panting, he locks the door and turns to find Phoebe seated behind his desk. "Thank God," he breathes. Cole starts babbling about his hallucinations as the Feebs calmly observes him from the depths of his chair. The Phoebangs are particularly severe in this scene, by the way. They're lacquered to her forehead like a pair of windshield wipers caught in mid-swipe. Cole, still gasping for air, presses his palms against the desktop and drops his head. What he sees shut him right up. The camera cuts to a Cole POV of the FORMAL NOTIFICATION OF DIVORCE ACTION on his blotter. I'd rage about the reappearance of the divorce papers after they were signed and filed in the season premiere, but this is, after all, a bad acid trip, so I'll simply tell you all that "Phauxbe" (tm the poesiemillay of the forums) eases herself from her chair, plucks the divorce papers from the blotter, and slinks around the furniture to stand in front of the increasingly agitated Cole. "It's finally over," Phauxbe smirks gleefully. "Officially. Because you're evil!" "You're wrong," Cole moans. "Don't fight it," Phauxbe purrs, caressing his face. Cole emits a mighty howl and snatches hold of her throat, jerking her into the air and slamming her against the wall. We get a shot of Phauxbe's dainty stiletto-shod feet flailing in mid-air before the camera cuts back to reveal that Cole's actually throttling his blonde secretary. In a nice touch, the secretary's wearing the same modest, high-necked ruffled blouse and knee-length charcoal-grey skirt we saw on the Phauxbe. Maybe it's just because I have Jimmy Stewart on the brain (and isn't that a terrifying state of affairs), but it's reminiscent of the Judy-Madeleine switches in Vertigo. Not that Phoebe and the secretary look anything alike, but after all, Judy did have some hideous bangs, didn't she?

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Charmed

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