Not!warts. The Dolt lights some candles as Phoebe notes the absence of Joan of Arc and Catherine the Great in the history book, and I don't even have the strength to make a tasteless joke about Catherine's high horse at this point. Raige orbs in with Douchebag Duncan's spell on a slip of paper, proving to all who were still in doubt that that last scene really was pointless, because they could just as easily have scribbled a few indifferently rhymed couplets themselves. Glaaah. Anyway, the history book still contains an entry for Lady Godiva, so they're good to go. Well, except for one thing: Before they pull Lord Hoover out of the book to vanquish him, they must ensure that they're not possessed of "buried resentments that a hungry demon could feed off of," as Piper puts it. Phoebe's fine as long as Sparklies isn't in the room, and Piper claims she's cool as well, as she tends to inform those present immediately when she's pissed off. Raige, however, admits to lingering resentments over being the youngest sister. "You want to be the oldest sister?" Piper snorts. "Get over it." "Okay, I'm over it!" Raige cheerfully replies before unfolding the Douchebag's spell, which she reads alone:
Where royals once lived, so did she:
Bring forth the naked lady from the eleventh century.
Piper's all, "You needed that stupid little shit for that spell?," only she's quite non-verbal about it. Godiva and Hoover re-erupt from the history book and re-materialize in the center of the room. Instantly, a flare sweeps through the Hall to blast away the cobwebs and debris, restoring the room to its pre-hijinks state. The flare also blasts off that undertaker's suit the Dolt had been sporting, but fortunately, it's only to replace it with the rumpled casual wear he'd had on all night, because a naked Dolt? Would drive me into a homicidal rage. Raige quickly helps Godiva from the horse and into the robe as Hoover begins scanning those present for repressed resentment upon which he can feed. Raige and Phoebe come up empty, but he hits the mother lode -- so to speak -- when he reaches for Piper. The moment Piper's red resentment cloud vanishes into Hoover's hand, she wheels on the Dolt and yells, "Enough with your moping! The Elders screwed you? What about me? I am not going to raise two little boys all on my own because you're too busy feeling sorry for yourself!" And with that, she starts blasting the Dolt repeatedly with her Hands Of Discontent a good six or seven times. Hooray! Meanwhile, Hoover conjures a Flaming Ball Of Death that he hurls at Godiva's head. Raige redirects the thing back towards Hoover with her orbing telekinesis, but the resulting explosion merely knocks him back on his heels for a second. Raige races to deal with the enraged Piper as Phoebe vaults herself into the air to plant a heel in Hoover's chest. The force does propel him into the wall, but the counterforce knocks the stupid Feebs onto her bony derriere, leaving Godiva exposed. Raige manages to get Piper to snap out of it just as Hoover prepares to fry Phoebe's ass. Before Piper releases her already-proven-to-be-ineffectual Hands in his direction, however, Hoover squiggles into the final commercial break, because this show revels in making absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever. Feh.