All The News That's Fit To Fuck Me, and if it involves Nick Lachey, I don't care, so let's be quick about this: Phoebe slips her breastfeeding letter, handwritten on garishly bright pink paper, into Slampiece Sparklies's inbox. When Sparklies enters the office, she too-casually suggests he use it for next morning's column. He thinks it's too "cause-y." Phoebe...oh, who gives a shit? Scene.