The Bare Witch Project

Episode Report Card
Demian: F | 1 USERS: F
Hag On A Nag

Where royals once lived, so did she:
Bring forth the naked lady from the eleventh century.

Piper's all, "You needed that stupid little shit for that spell?," only she's quite non-verbal about it. Godiva and Hoover re-erupt from the history book and re-materialize in the center of the room. Instantly, a flare sweeps through the Hall to blast away the cobwebs and debris, restoring the room to its pre-hijinks state. The flare also blasts off that undertaker's suit the Dolt had been sporting, but fortunately, it's only to replace it with the rumpled casual wear he'd had on all night, because a naked Dolt? Would drive me into a homicidal rage. Raige quickly helps Godiva from the horse and into the robe as Hoover begins scanning those present for repressed resentment upon which he can feed. Raige and Phoebe come up empty, but he hits the mother lode -- so to speak -- when he reaches for Piper. The moment Piper's red resentment cloud vanishes into Hoover's hand, she wheels on the Dolt and yells, "Enough with your moping! The Elders screwed you? What about me? I am not going to raise two little boys all on my own because you're too busy feeling sorry for yourself!" And with that, she starts blasting the Dolt repeatedly with her Hands Of Discontent a good six or seven times. Hooray! Meanwhile, Hoover conjures a Flaming Ball Of Death that he hurls at Godiva's head. Raige redirects the thing back towards Hoover with her orbing telekinesis, but the resulting explosion merely knocks him back on his heels for a second. Raige races to deal with the enraged Piper as Phoebe vaults herself into the air to plant a heel in Hoover's chest. The force does propel him into the wall, but the counterforce knocks the stupid Feebs onto her bony derriere, leaving Godiva exposed. Raige manages to get Piper to snap out of it just as Hoover prepares to fry Phoebe's ass. Before Piper releases her already-proven-to-be-ineffectual Hands in his direction, however, Hoover squiggles into the final commercial break, because this show revels in making absolutely no fucking sense whatsoever. Feh.

Manor, that evening. "How was I supposed to know I was so repressed?" Piper pffts as she emerges from the kitchen to power through the dining room onto the sun porch with Phoebe and Raige trailing behind her. "I'm a working single mother with two kids -- I barely have enough time to brush my teeth, let alone for self-reflection." The upshot of all this is that, should Hoover appear at the Manor, he might become unstoppable if he manages to feed off of the Dolt's repressed anger. "I'm not going to be able to finish my ride [that I never really took in the first place]," Godiva glums. "No," Hoover predictably answers as he squiggles in with a Flaming Ball Of Death at the ready. "You're not." The Dolt hustles Godiva off the wicker love seat, which splits in half as it absorbs the FBOD's impact. Piper blasts Hoover's shoulder, giving the Manor Morons enough time to regroup in the main hall. Hoover, loping around the corner, flips another FBOD in their direction, but Piper unleashes a Hand, detonating the thing in mid-air and sending a shock wave rippling back through the room that staggers the demon. Raige, at Piper's prompting, vanishes with Godiva in a cloud of orbs that Piper and Phoebe race through on their way up to the attic. The Dolt, trailing behind them, just misses taking another FBOD in the back. Hoover's aim is off a bit, though, and a section of the balustrade dissolves into splinters of wood instead.

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