Manor. Up in the parlor, the Glamorous Ladies jaw away at each other as Piper gingerly dabs at Raige's shoulder wound with a bit of gauze. They can't quite figure out what's going on, naturally, and Phoebe blames Q's assault of Raige on the fact that he wasn't breastfed as a child. Shut the fuck up, Phoebe. All this while, Lady Godiva has been pacing the floor, occasionally trying to capture their attention, but of course failing miserably because the women she's dealing with are nothing if not toxically self-absorbed. So what does Godiva do? Yanks off her robe, off course, exposing the Manor Morons to the complete special wonderfulness of her intimate womanly bits. "It is apparently still the only way I can get anybody to listen to me!" Godiva lisps. "Woman," Piper deadpans, promo-style, "keep your clothes on. This is a family show. Really." Yeah, pull the other one, honey. Godiva wriggles back into her robe as she gets saucy with the exposition, explaining that the Lord Hoover of her time was "smaller and weaker." Piper wonders how Hoover managed to add to his powers just as the doorbell rings. Dimwit Godiva's eyes widen in surprise at the chime, so Raige must explain it away by referring to it as a "newfangled contraption," and no one from the eleventh century would ever be able to make sense of that phrase, so Raige might just as well have been speaking Russian right then, but I don't have time to dwell on it because Phoebe's raced to the window to see who's at the door, and it's Sparklies, and I so totally don't care. "Don't answer it!" Piper snaps. "What if it's about my letter?" Phoebe whines. "Forget the stupid letter!" Piper grits. "What?" Phoebe gripes, heading to the door anyway. "Can everybody have a cause but me?" "YES!" Piper shouts. Hee. But when the bony skank gets lippy like that, you really should deploy the Hands Of Discontent, Piper. You know you want to. And you know we'd all cheer. Piper, unfortunately, chooses to roll her eyes around instead while ordering the others upstairs.
Front door and Sparklies and still not caring. Sparklies knew Phoebe wrote the breastfeeding letter because he recognized her handwriting. God, she's a fucking idiot. Is that it? Yeah, pretty much. Next!