Charmed
The Fourth Sister

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 1 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Transspecies Bisexual Menace

Back from the break, paramedics wheel Aunt Jackie out of the house as the snot-licking miscarriage dejectedly clomps back up the stairs to her room. Once there, Kali asks Aviva what she told the police. She pretty much told them the truth, except for the bit about the ancient Hindu Hell-goddess with the unusual accessories who's living in her mirror. Aviva wants to flee San Francisco before Aunt Jackie wakes up in the hospital, and I cry, "Run! Run like the wind!" Kali is of a different opinion, and as she's the one running the show at the moment, Aviva listens to her rather than to me. Dammit. Kali instructs Aviva to return to the Manor to "take Prue's place in the Power of Three." "Piper won't stop you," she coos, "and Phoebe's already an ally." Aviva is, of course, to kill Prue, and yet for some reason this doesn't seem to bother the sniveling little cow in the least. I hope the Glamorous Ladies just vanquish her misbegotten ass rather than attempt to reform her. Can you tell I'm done with Aviva already? Sad, because we still have twenty minutes left in the show.

Manor. Phoebe passes Aviva a cup of tea as Piper returns from the phone to confirm that the misbegotten wench's aunt really was admitted to the hospital that evening. Aviva pleads with Prue to allow her to spend the night with the Ps, and promises to tell all in the morning. Phoebe notes that Aviva can bed down in her room. Prue coolly evaluates Aviva for a moment, then relents with a warning: "No muff-diving." Oh! Ow! Where'd that come from? I'm sorry -- she said, "No magic." Whoops! Wow.

Bisexual Boudoir. Aviva's curled up on a small sofa next to Phoebe's bed. Kali materializes in Phoebe's mirror to order, "Now! Go to Prue!" Aviva quietly slips out into the hallway. Unbeknownst to the misbegotten miscarriage, Kali's wicked cat's eyes have flipped into place, and the harsh orange light from her Hell dimension casts an eerie glow throughout the bedroom.

Aviva eases open the door to Prue's bedroom to gaze at her sleeping form for a moment. She draws back her hand to incinerate Prue, but is interrupted by a sleepless Piper, who's apparently wandering aimlessly though the Manor in the middle of the night in her bathrobe. Aviva claims she was looking for the toilet. Piper directs her to the correct door, then looks in on Prue with mounting concern worrying her brow.

The following morning, Prue announces that she's headed to the hospital to speak with Aviva's aunt, and that she needs to have a sit-down with the mopey bisexual nose-picker when she returns. Over at the hospital, Aunt Jackie can't quite understand how Aviva knows the Glamorous Ladies. Prue patiently explains that Aviva returned their lost cat. "So that's what she was hiding," Jackie mutters, and describes the sordid circumstances of Kit's captivity. "You're lucky she didn't sacrifice the poor thing," Jackie finishes. Prue's all, "The hell?" Jackie exposits that Aviva is "a very troubled kid" who "has no friends" and is always locked in her bedroom, chanting. I realize you just took a terrific spill down the stairs, honey, but we already know this. Let's move it along. "Sometimes I swear I even hear other voices," Jackie confides. Okay, I guess that's new. Irrelevant, but new. Prue asks if she can stop by Jackie's home to collect a few of Aviva's belongings. Jackie graciously tells Prue that that would be fine.

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Charmed

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