Charmed
The Fourth Sister

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 1 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Transspecies Bisexual Menace

So.

Back to the current recap, then, okay? Aunt Jackie is not an intrepid tabloid editor in this episode, by the way. She actually appears to be a waitress. She and Aviva snipe at each other, with Aviva pulling the kind of tedious, pubescent "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!" crap that makes me want to plunge through the television screen and whack her in the teeth with my remote control. Jackie, meanwhile, bemoans the fact that her niece is a surly, ungrateful little brat. We also learn that Aviva's mother is in rehab, and that Mother and Jackie have a strained relationship. Jackie leaves. Aviva whines. Whatever.

Random video store. Prue and Andy examine various offerings from different sections. Andy asks Prue if she's seen Lethal Weapon 3. Prue snarks that his choice "is not very romantic" before holding up her own pick, Double Indemnity. Which she has retrieved from the section marked "Romance." Barbara Stanwyck convinces Fred MacMurray to toss her husband off a moving train for the insurance money, Fred MacMurray ends up on his way to jail with a bullet in his gut for his troubles, and this is a romance? Must be the moist-making presence of Edward G. Robinson. I know my heart sets to fluttering whenever a squat, middle-aged man lectures me on the titillating topic of actuarial tables. Andy objects, because the movie is in black-and-white. Prue is quite rightly disturbed by this information. A clerk overhears their conversation and offers to assist them. They accept his offer and send him on his way. "Doesn't really matter what we pick, anyway," Andy casually notes. "Probably never get around to watching it." Prue's eyebrows shoot skyward in shock, appalled at his presumptuous gall. "Pretty cocky," she sniffs demurely. Andy shoots her a devilish look before elaborating, "What I meant was, something always seems to come up." He pauses just long enough for me to snicker helplessly like the filthy adolescent I really am before adding, "Get in our way." He sidles over to her side of the aisle to tower above her. Prue stammers, "That's not true!" Andy smirks. Prue splutters, "Okay, sometimes it's true, but there's always a perfectly good reason!" Andy calls her on this with a coy half-smile. "There's never a reason -- good, bad, or otherwise." They're about to jump each other right in the middle of the store, and I say good for them. Prue promises he'll have her undivided attention that evening. "Nothing -- and I mean nothing -- will get in our way." "I'll hold you to that," he smooths, pulling her close for a kiss. The clerk pops back into the frame with a copy of Body Heat. "We'll take it," Prue and Andy respond in unison. Oh, ew! That movie has the same damn plot as the Stanwyck flick, with the extra-special added foulness that is William Hurt and Ted Danson proudly displaying their pit stains. Rent To Die For if you've got a jones for similar stories. Otherwise, latch on to Wild Things and call it a goddamn day.

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Charmed

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