Charmed
The Fourth Sister

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 1 USERS: B-
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The Transspecies Bisexual Menace

House Of Aviva. The sniveling, snot-nosed, morose, mopey miscarriage kneels once more in her circle of candles, complaining about the treatment she received at the hands of the Ps. Kali suggests that Aviva avoid Prue in the future. Prue, you see, is the "strongest," and therefore the Halliwell most likely to resist Aviva's advances. Whom should Aviva target, then? Why, a certain dimwitted, harebrained life support system for a pair of Fun Bags, of course. Phoebe, like Aviva, is still "searching for someone to relate to -- someone to share her witchcraft with," and is therefore the sister most likely to adopt stray miscarriages. Aviva's suddenly uncertain, and wonders what Kali will get out of all of this should Aviva's infiltration of the Manor succeed. Kali, of course, is after the Power of Three. Somehow, once Aviva tricks Phoebe into "coveting" Aviva's pyrokinesis, the "old and powerful Halliwell magic" will drain from the sisters and enter the mirror-bound demonette. No, I don't get it either, and by this point, I know better than to ask. Or to care.

Manor, the following day. Up in the kitchen, Prue's on the cordless with Andy, attempting to apologize for their hastily-aborted plans to fornicate the previous evening. Andy gives her guff about shoving him out of the Manor with no explanation, leading Prue to natter on and on about her characteristic unpredictability and whatnot. She can't explain why she had to bail, because doing so would entail revealing another person's "secret." She promises to make it up to him, and they agree to meet at the house at eight o'clock that evening. Prue bleakly hangs up on him, examines the scorched videocassette, and vows to rip Aviva a new one should she ever see the bitch again.

As Prue stomps into the laundry room, Piper and Phoebe appear to process the previous evening's events. Prue believes Aviva is a Hell-sent mutant freakshow who's out to expose them to the world at large and therefore must be destroyed. Phoebe suggests that Aviva's "just a kid" who deserves their sympathy and aid. Piper heads straight down the center of the argument, urging Prue to remain somewhat open-minded about the girl who might be the first fellow witch they've encountered while counseling Phoebe to be a bit more skeptical about Aviva's claims. Phoebe, who lets slip her jealousy of Aviva's pyrokinesis, is wearing a sleeveless blue turtleneck that makes her breasts look immense, and I think we have our first bona-fide Halliwell tit-sling of the series. Prue and Piper head off to their respective places of employment, foolishly leaving the Feebs to her own devices. Immediately, the telephone rings. Yes, it's the sniveling, snot-nosed miscarriage, and she'd like very much to chat with the simp with the ginormous hooters.

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Charmed

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