Charmed
The Fourth Sister

Episode Report Card
Demian: C+ | 1 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
The Transspecies Bisexual Menace

Later that day, the simp with the ginormous hooters meets the sniveling, snot-nosed miscarriage at her high school. Aviva ducks out through the padlocked fence to ditch the rest of her classes in favor of hanging with the Feebs for the remainder of the afternoon. She leads Phoebe over to the convertible, promising to tell her everything she wants to know. First things first, though -- Aviva asks, "You didn't tell your bitch sister about this, did you?" Phoebe's shocked -- shocked -- at the salty language, but understands instantly that Aviva's referring to Prue. Heh. Phoebe correctly insists Prue had every right to be angry with the mopey miscarriage for her actions the previous evening, but Aviva just rolls her eyes. Smacking the teeth right out of her skull is what I'd be doing right about now. Roll your eyes at me, huh? I'll roll your damn head across the floor, you whiny little hag.

[72virg=ins]. The Dolt wanders through the bar area, searching for Piper. She surprises him from behind and perks, "Table for one, sir?" He grins, and expresses his pleased astonishment at the restaurant. "You own this place?" he asks. Piper reluctantly admits that she's simply the manager as she escorts him to a seat. The Dolt whips out his stain samples -- ew -- and explains that he "only brought the ones authentic to the era in which [the Manor] was built." Piper pretends she gives a shit, then offers him a meal on the house. The Dolt smarms something about chefs being second only to medicine men in the Mayan hierarchy, like, hold up a second there, Bucky. Knowing what we do about the Dolt, does this mean he and Piper are reincarnations of the Mayan elite? If so, it becomes clear why that civilization disintegrated. Conquistadors, my ass. And why in hell did they ever introduce this character? I. Despise. Him. Shut up, Dolt. The conversation awkwardly segues over to the topic of Phoebe. "Does she work here too?" the Dolt asks. "Phoebe? Work?" Piper calmly replies. "Oh, no. She's probably at her gay and lesbian group right about now. Are you ready to order?" She casually passes him a menu. Whee! I know I should not approve of this particular tactic, but, hey. As long as she's slamming the Feebs, all is right with the world.

Manor. Phoebe's leading Aviva on a tour of the lower level. Aviva slyly wonders what gives with the Dolt. Yes, Phoebe. Explain. Phoebe smirks and admits that she and Piper are engaged in a little sibling battle over who gets the "pleasure" of his company. That's not the sort of answer I was looking for. Aviva suggests Phoebe tilt things in her favor by using her powers. Phoebe grimaces ever so slightly as the two reach the sun porch. They sit on a pair of wicker chairs, and Phoebe finally asks Aviva to level with her: How did Aviva learn of the Glamorous Ladies? Aviva dissembles that she has "this teacher" who's "sort of like a high priestess." This person gave her the entire Charmed Ones story, and assured her she'd like Phoebe the most. Phoebe notes she'd like to meet this woman. Aviva smiles and agrees, but suggests that they head to Phoebe's boudoir first. Aviva has something she'd like to share with the dimwit. To her credit, Phoebe clearly harbors doubts about all this, but cautiously decides to see where it leads anyway.

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Charmed

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