Charmed
The Importance Of Being Phoebe

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The Importance Of Being A Deranged Serial Killer

Back in the Casa, Phoebe hurls a supposedly hefty pewter candlestick at the French doors. The supernatural security system flares up, flipping the candlestick back into the center of the room. The thing clatters on the tile like a tin can, and I can think of one Foley editor who won't be receiving a bonus this year. Phoebe bellows uselessly for the Dolt, then notices an enormous ventilation grate in the ceiling. Honey, I realize you didn't live there for very long, and you spent most of your tenancy whacked out on D'Eartha's wastes, but wouldn't you have investigated that cavernous heating duct long before you tossed a tchotchke at the window? Dimwit. Phoebe half-leaps, half-levitates up to the ceiling and tugs at the grate.

Manor parlor. Piper recites the following as the Dolt paces nervously in the background and K'Feebs does her level best to memorize the spell as it is spoken:

This witch's power cannot fight
The lure of evil's magic might.
Before misuse lands her in Hell
Remove the powers of Phoebe Halliwell.

As Piper mouths the last line, the shot cuts back to Phoebe in the Casa. A glowy golden blob emerges from the Fun Bags and vanishes upwards into the vent. Phoebe, presumably stunned by the sudden loss of her implants, releases her grip on the grating and drops into the commercial break.

Should I even bother wondering where Phoebe's powers went? Didn't think so.

Manor. Piper and the Dolt urge K'Feebs to try levitating, just to ensure that the power-stripping spell worked. K'Feebs moves to rise from the sofa, and oh, sweet Jesus. The blouse is cut so low and K'Feebs leans over so far that I watch with mounting horror as the Fun Bags flop forward and spread apart, nearly vaulting completely out of the top before settling back down for the remainder of the scene. Utterly at a loss regarding the physical trigger for levitation, K'Feebs waves her hands in the air like she don't care, and now I have that freaking song in my head. Thanks for nothing, wretch. Also: "Utterly." Heh. Anyway, Piper remarks on K'Feebs's strange behavior, so K'Feebs nervously bluffs that the side effects of Cole's macking spell have made her ill. She fiddles with her hair and asks if she can go lie down for a bit.

Bimbo Boudoir, which, come to think of it, looks almost exactly like Raige's bedroom. In fact, it is Raige's bedroom, with different set dressings. After four and a half years on the air, and with the audience numbers rising markedly since the move to Sunday nights, you'd think they'd be able to afford separate bedroom sets. And how mortified am I that I never noticed this before? Wow. Where have I been? So, Piper leads K'Feebs to the bed and offers to fetch her some tea. K'Feebs smiles that tea sounds lovely, then drops the gracious act the second Piper's out of the room. "Who drinks tea?" she mugs as she locks the boudoir door. She struts over to the bureau and slides open the topmost drawer. Rummaging through a cluster of never-worn brassieres, she finds a dagger and sneers.

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Charmed

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