Phoebe enters the cellar just in time for Cole to finish up with the Craptin he'd been chanting. The concrete beneath his feet splits, and the dread Woogy wafts up through the unearthly light of the resulting hole. Er, I mean, "Nexus." And -- dude. What's wrong with the Woogy? In its previous appearances, it billowed blackly through the air. This Woogy looks like a paler, thicker version of those Hollow pellets from last season. And wouldn't you know it? The New And Improved Non-Dread Non-Woogy shoots into Cole's body through his mouth, nose, and eyes -- just like The Hollow! Lame. In any event, The New And Improved Non-Dread Non-Coogy staggers a bit from the power boost as his eyes flip beetle black. He presently recovers enough of his composure to smooth-talk the Feebs. Phoebe simply glares at him as she recites the following, which should be familiar from previous episodes:
I am light:
I am one too strong to fight.
Return to dark, where shadows dwell --
You can't have this Halliwell.
So go away, and leave my sight,
And take with you this endless night.
A swirling cloud of dense smoke shoots from the Nexus to envelop The New And Improved Non-Dread Non-Coogy, whom it sucks down into the earth. The Nexus next sends a series of whirlwinds up through the floorboards into the parlor, where the clouds encase The Mullet Defense League before siphoning them into the earth as well. Just as quickly as it appeared, the Nexus seals itself after consuming the last demon. Then it burps. Kidding! Phoebe, who'd been knocked to the floor during all of this, rises to her feet and hyperventilates a bit.
Suddenly, Cole smears back into the basement. "I thought you were dead," Phoebe states evenly. No, Phoebe. That's next week. "So did I," Cole replies, "but now that I know that not even the earth can hold me, I guess I'll just call [The New And Improved Non-Dread Non-Woogy] and try again." The hell? "Not even the earth can hold me"? He escaped the Waste Land, didn't he? So what's a little dirt after all that? Whatever. Phoebe calls his bluff, then takes it a step further and vows, "I'm free. When we do vanquish you -- and we will -- I'll never look back." The corners of Cole's mouth turn down and his eyes glisten a bit before he turns and wordlessly smears away.
Up in the hall, Phoebe greets Piper, Raige, and the Dolt for the Weekly Summation. The lighting's gone back to its customary levels, by the way, and the Dolt's aged a full forty-three years since last we saw him. Phoebe presents Piper with the deed to the Manor. Piper frets about the club and the lawsuit. The Dolt chimes in with, "I think you can use your magic to reverse Cole's consequence-free." How convenient! Unfortunately, there's still the matter of the dead slow-motion pre-credits fender bender woman. Remember her? Yeah, neither do I. This episode is endless. Phoebe levels her gaze at Raige and says, "I promise you [Cole] won't get away with that." Phoebe blinks back glycerin as the camera cuts away to the Manor facade. There's a slow pull back as an ominous chord whacks the soundtrack with a two-by-four.