Manor. Up in the Broken Marriage Boudoir, Piper perches on the coffee table as Elizabeth Dennehy orbs into the room from Whitelighterland. Piper thanks her for coming, and gets right to the point: "I need to know if [Maggot Neck] and [Ssssecretly Evil Chrissssty] are the ones we're going to have to fight to get [the Dolt] back." Short answer? The Ever-Useless Elders haven't a freaking clue. Big surprise, there. The longer answer involves The Triad and the "insidious" plot they put into motion years before the Glamorous Ladies even knew about their inherited bitchcraft and super-special Capital-D Destiny in the world and whatnot, but you don't really need to plow through all of that, do you? Didn't think so. Basically, all signs point to yes, but as The Ever-Useless Elders can't offer a definitive answer, Elizabeth Dennehy will be of no use in convincing Phoebe and Raige of the danger they face from The Sisters Retard. As Elizabeth orbs on out of there, Raige arrives to announce that Maggot Neck's just phoned to request a summit. The two descend the main stairs to join Phoebe on the sun porch, where she's arrived after receiving a similar call from The Ultimate Retard. "This could be a very bad idea," Piper warns. "I just spoke with an [Ever-Useless] Elder, and she confirmed those two could be very big trouble for us." "What?" Raige gasps. Piper's forced to admit that Elizabeth "wasn't a hundred percent sure," but before she gets much further, The Ultimate Retard blooms on the sun porch in a cloud of teleportation mojo. God, remember when people on this show who didn't have access to Whitelightery orbing actually had to walk from place to place? Those were some good times. In any event, Piper gets in a good one when she greets Maggot Neck with, "You know, considering you want to kill us, maybe you should use the front door." Heh. Of course, Piper, you do realize that snappy one-liners would no longer be necessary if you'd just blow her oddly proportioned ass up right now, yes? Piper ignores me, and that's bad news for her, for The Ultimate Retard's barely materialized before she flips a vial of something dark and presumably dangerous at the Manor Morons' feet. Each P glows white for a moment before they all collapse onto the floor, unconscious. D'oh! Ssssecretly Evil Chrissssty appears at her sister's side to make with the smirking and the false promises and such before the screen flares white to dump us into...
Episode Report Card1198 USERS: B-
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