Charmed
The Jung And The Restless

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The Three Stigmata Of Chrissssty Retard

...Not!warts, where Ssssecretly Evil Chrissssty enters the Library to find her maggoty-necked retard of a sister abusing a great many books in search of something I totally don't care about, because I hate this entire storyline as much as I've hated it since the beginning of the season and whatever! CANCELLED! Basically, since the events of last week, The Ultimate Retard's been riffling through old prophecies, trying to find the one that indicates she and her sister are destined to take out the Charmed Ones because, her reasoning goes, something that major would have been written about centuries ago. I think I just explained it all better than she did. Moron. Unfortunately for Ssssecretly Evil Chrissssty, Maggot Neck's research -- tireless and unbelievably thorough, I'm sure -- has turned up nothing remotely relevant to the situation, so The Ultimate Retard's now having second thoughts about the entire endeavor. Chrissssty, watching her Nefarious Demonic Plot For Retard Domination crumble before her very eyes, wastes not a moment in immediately ripping the Glamorous Idiots' reputation to shrezzzzzzzzzzzzz. Seriously. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. She's evil. WE GET IT. Now would someone just vanquish their damn asses so this CANCELLED! show can end already? Crap. She's still talking. Long story short, Ssssecretly Evil Chrissssty argues that the Manor Morons possess absolute power, reminds Maggot Neck that "absolute power corrupts absolutely," and insists that Destiny compels The Sisters Retard to put an end to the Halliwells' unholy reign of terror upon the earth, or something like that. Maggot Neck remains unconvinced and crosses to another book, this one open to an entry entitled "Poder Maximo," whose opening lines I'll transcribe because believe it or not, after reading the thing, I'm thinking the typewriting crackmonkeys might very well put it to use in one of the few remaining episodes. Yeah, I know. My brain is totally fucking fried after six years of this shit, isn't it? Anyway, nevertheless:

The spell known as "Maximum Power," actual name "Poder Maximo," is a spell believed to tap into a dark, and unknown, collective power. The results are absolute decimation and destruction. A very dangerous spell, its origins are clouded in as much darkness as the spell itself. The first known user, Levto, an ancient mystic who roamed the Pangeanic Expanse in the dawn of magic, described it as "horror no man's eyes should ever see."

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Charmed

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