Charmed
The Jung And The Restless

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The Three Stigmata Of Chrissssty Retard

Or maybe I transcribed that because I read that bit about "horror no man's eyes should ever see," connected it instantly to far too many moments on this show over the last eight years up to and including this entire damned season, and decided it simply must be made part of the recap. Your choice. In any event, the camera's actually focused in on that page so The Ultimate Maggot Neck might receive a secret and magical message from one of the idiots Ssssecretly Evil Chrissssty's been railing against for the last seventy-three hours. In the blink of an eye, the vast majority of text on the page vanishes, leaving only the following characters visible to the bimbo: "TALK? PHOEBE." At least she spelled her name right this time. The Ultimate Retard babbles out some nonsense about needing a bit of fresh air to clear her already empty head before excusing herself and exiting the room. Ssssecretly Evil Chrissssty, immediately suspicious, picks her way around the table to peer at the "Poder Maximo" entry, but by this point, the text has long since reverted to its original form. Ssssecretly Evil Chrissssty shoots an annoyed glare at her sister's retreating and oddly proportioned ass as the screen flares white again to shoot us over into...

...TWoP Towers. Peter Wingfield of Highlander fame appears on the screen to sneer at and upbraid the feckless Darklighter from the top of the hour for the latter's incompetence. "Overpowered by the powerless?" he bellows. "What happened?" "She was saved by her Whitelighter, Salek," the Darklighter underling patiently replies. "Then you should have shot both of them," Salek snorts. The underling's all, "Um, no, because the Whitelighter was a Charmed One, and now she's cloaked her charge, so I can't find either one of them," because it's way too difficult for him to black orb into the Manor to look for them there, apparently, because everyone on this show is a fucking idiot. This particular fucking idiot is pretty gung-ho about resuming the hunt anyway, but Salek orders the underling to cool his jets, because Salek intends to slaughter Raige himself. Muah ha ha ha NOT! This plan is clearly doomed to fail, so I'll be paying as little attention to it as possible, because CANCELLED! Salek fiddles with an arrow as the screen flares white once more to escort us...

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Charmed

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