Charmed
The Jung And The Restless

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The Three Stigmata Of Chrissssty Retard

First to emerge on the other side is Phoebe, who finds herself in All The Dream World That's Fit To Fuck Me where, rather predictably, her subconscious mind has conflated Take Your Aggravating Rugrat To Work with the day-to-day operations of the newspaper to produce an office full of preadolescent brats behaving as if they were actual adult reporters and editors and whatnot. One of the little shrews is actually Phoebe's much-loathed Daughter From The Future, who moans, "Mom, we're running out of time, and you can't keep putting us on hold." Put a sock in it, Hagulita. Seriously. The kid hasn't even been conceived yet, and already I hate her more than any other character on this stupid, evil, stupid, wicked show, with the obvious exception of The Ultimate Retard. Whatever. CANCELLED! ANY-way, Stoop whispers to the Feebs from Phoebe's private office, calling her "baby" and crooking his finger in a smoldering and irresistible come-hither gleam in his eye. I knew Phoebe was going to find a way to bang this guy on a desk in her office. Maggot Neck, who'd been eyeing all this from the main doors, turns away as the screen washes blue.

Dream World Memorial, formerly Andy's Dream World Of Beef, formerly The Loneliest Dream House In The World. Raige tries to raise an outside line on Darling Henry's phone, but finds that they all appear to be dead. Frustrated, she calls out loudly first for her sisters, then for her husband. "Henry's not here," Dream World Raige calls out from the hall. Real World Raige splutters and stammers at the sight of her nightgowned doppelganger as the latter continues, "But then, you're not looking for him, anyway." "Follow me," Sensei Raige finishes before turning to disappear down the hall. Senseless Raige barrels after her, but pulls herself short when Mikelle (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) flares in to beg for help. Senseless Raige, under the watchful eye of the carefully hidden Ultimate Retard, orders Mikelle to wait where she is while Raige goes chasing after...herself? Yeah. Whatever. CANCELLED! The screen washes blue as Senseless Raige continues down the hall.

DWP3. The place is a madhouse, mainly because, even though it's as poorly managed and maintained on this plane of existence as it is in ours, the patrons in this reality actually seem to notice and care. Piper struggles through a crowd of disgruntled yuppies to reach her vaguely familiar underling, who shouts in digitally processed tones of voice, "You can't keep neglecting everything for [the Dolt], you know." Piper's momentary confusion disappears when she spots The Ultimate Retard at the bar. Maggot Neck attempts to flee, but Piper manages to snatch hold of her arms, and spins her around to spit, "I want answers, now!" before dragging her oddly proportioned ass into the next commercial break.

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Charmed

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