Charmed
The Jung And The Restless

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The Three Stigmata Of Chrissssty Retard

Piper slings The Ultimate Retard onto the sofa in the club's office, and once more demands to know what's going on. Maggot Neck bluffs her way through another lie in yet another attempt to convince Piper that The Ultimate Retard is simply part of Piper's dreamscape, and I'm sure I'd be happy to recap that bluff were The Ultimate Retard not to blow her cover immediately afterwards by closing her eyes, thinking real hard, intoning Phoebe's name, and vanishing from the club office in Piper's full view. I'd then scream about how stupid everyone on and responsible for this show is, but WHATEVER, because CANCELLED!

All The Dream World That's Fit To Fuck Me. Phoebe comes thisclose to banging Stoop on her desk but at the last instant remembers she only bangs guys on her assistant's desk, and so comes to realize that she's stuck on another plane. Or something like that. Feebs, with a quick farewell to Dream Stoop, hustles out of there to return to the Dream World Manor. The Ultimate Retard glares at her from a nook at the far side of the main office. Shut up, Retard.

Dank And Forbidding Alleyway Of Dream World Doom. Senseless Raige catches up with Sensei Raige, who's levitating five feet above the ground, serenely cross-legged on a cloud of orbs. "Come -- seek!" Sensei Raige actually, honest-to-God says, and it only gets worse from there. Senseless Raige's "inner truth," you see, involves finding herself, or some such damn thing. "A search for self is a noble one," Sensei Raige intones serenely, "and if you don't find it, you'll be lost, imbalanced, and -- ultimately -- spread too thin." God, I hate this show. The Ultimate Retard, having eavesdropped on all of this, decides she's heard enough for now and switches sisters again. This time, however, we stay with Senseless Raige, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, believe it or not. In a fairly creepy shot, Sensei Raige suddenly, unexpectedly lets her head drop back and opens her mouth in a howl. The human part of that howl, however, is merely a faint, far-away cry, while the mechanical part -- the part that sounds like a high-pitched train whistle -- screams. Senseless Raige flashes briefly on Mikelle's forlorn image before snapping back to the unearthly howling, which gradually diminishes after Sensei Raige abruptly dematerializes. Raige realizes her doomed charge is in some deep shit, and spins around to race back to the Dream World Manor...

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Charmed

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