Charmed
The Last Temptation Of Christy

Episode Report Card
2 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
We Don't Need No Water, Let The Bimbo Retard Burn!

Raige and Darling Henry have moved to the wicker love seat on the sun porch, where Raige applies the tingly touch to his gaping shoulder wound while grouching, "You know, you could have been killed." "I'm okay," he insists. "No, you're not o-kay," Raige twitches. "You were hit...bya...[FlamingBallOfDEATH]," she continues to Shatner as the tingly touch knits up both the gaping shoulder wound and Darling Henry's torn, scorched shirt, "which was...partlymyfault." Darling Henry responds with something I totally missed, because Ivan Sergei chooses this moment to pull a very amusing double-take when Henry realizes that the tingly touch for some asinine reason also mends clothing. This show has been on for eight goddamned years, and Ivan Sergei is the first person to comment on that particular bit of stupidity, albeit in a most non-verbal manner. Hee. Sad, but funny nevertheless. In any event, Raige once more asks him to leave the Manor until they've resolved the current crisis, and this time, he reluctantly agrees to do so. Once he's gone, Phoebe and, eventually, Piper enter the sun porch for yet another mini processing summit regarding Chrissssty, Chrissssty's surprising new power, and what They could possibly have wanted with her for fifteen years. Phoebe's of the opinion that Chrissssty's not so significant a magical entity "unless They know something [the Glamorous Ladies] don't." "All the more reason for her to open up so we can find out," Raige prisses from her perch on the love seat. "She's too freaked out," Phoebe argues, but Raige, likely considering the danger to her boyfriend, snorts, "She needs to get un-freaked out, and fast." Piper, meanwhile, martyrs that she'll put her entire life on hold until they've vanquished the demons, which, you know, vanquishing demons is her goddamned job, so shut up, Piper. Phoebe, however, insists Piper carry on with her day as planned, as she and Raige can handle the threat on their own. "Hopefully," she notes, "we can figure out who we're up against before they come back." "Or before Chrissssty burns down the house," Raige snots. Phoebe and Piper glare at her.

Suicide Boudoir. The Tense Strings Of Miscommunication Between Sisters Because One Of Them Is A Traumatized Long-Term Demonic Kidnap Victim And The Other Is Cross-Eyed, Maggoty-Necked Idiot have returned to the soundtrack. Wow, I hate the Retard, and wow, is this scene entirely unnecessary, mainly due to the fact that we learn absolutely nothing about anything during the minute it takes to air. Again, though, brava to Marnette Patterson on the nice job she's doing thus far with Chrissssty's fear and confusion. Other than that? Whatever.

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Charmed

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