The Last Temptation Of Christy

Episode Report Card
We Don't Need No Water, Let The Bimbo Retard Burn!

Trudeau Memorial, formerly Andy's House Of Beef, formerly The Loneliest Precinct House In The World, where Simon Mocks orbs in to annoy Darling Henry. Next!

Nonexistent Attic. Raige finishes the vanquish they've concocted for the "Scather Demons," whom she and Phoebe have managed to identify thanks to that boot one of them left behind during their earlier incursion into the Manor, but whom Phoebe and Raige have been unable to find, scry though they might. The gals were also surprised to learn that the Scathers lack telepathy, which leads them to believe that Chrissssty's been maintaining some sort of mental contact with them after all. It all manages to segue into a discussion about Darling Henry and the FBOD, during which Raige muses, "I keep thinking -- if that [Flaming Ball Of Death] had been two inches to the left, there would be no Henry to save," because she's an idiot who can no longer tell her left from her right anymore, because if that FBOD had been two inches to the left, it would have missed him entirely, landing as it did on his left shoulder, but whatever, because this show is ass, and I want to die. Musing done for the moment, Raige spins to return to the matter at hand, in the process vanishing off the screen entirely when it flares white to knock us...

...back down into Hell, where Kiefer and the henchdemon summon the Zombie Triad by hurling a Flaming Ball Of Death into a bubbling cauldron. The thing erupts into three separate plumes of black smoke that eventually coagulate into Zombie Triad form a few feet away on the Underworld chamber's dirt floor. "Why have you summoned us?" the Zombie Triad's apparent leader demands. Kiefer and the henchdemon silently stare the new arrivals down until everyone drops right into the next commercial break.

"How could you let her escape?" one of the other Zombie Triad guys yells when we return. Spluttering and babbling from Kiefer and the henchdemon, until the other Zombie Triad guy tires of it all and spews jets of flame from his eyes that immolate the henchdemon almost instantaneously. And we never got to know his name, either! So sad. Not. EVER. During the little tête-á-Zombie-Triad that follows between Kiefer and the triple entity that's supposed to be "the most powerful evil ever known," we learn that neither Kiefer and his Kieferettes nor the Triad have the power necessary to take on The Charmed Ones. Because it makes so much sense for The Most Powerful Evil Ever Known not to have the power necessary to take on The Charmed Ones. Ugh. Despite the deficit, however, Kiefer and the Zombie Triad plot to get Chrissssty back.

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