Eventually, Phoebe stumbles across something relevant to her uterine issues in the Sports section of that morning's All The News That's Fit To Fuck Me, and races off. No, I am not kidding with that. Meanwhile, Piper and the Dolt passive-aggressively tangle with each other over a puddle of literally spilt milk until he gives up on all the bullshit non-drama and charges into the dining room. Raige, who's going to be late for that interview of hers at THE BLACK HOLE OF SOCIAL SERVICES if she doesn't fucking orb over there already, chases after her troubled brother-in-law for a chat. And as the chat involves the suddenly appearing and completely asinine marital strife I've chosen to ignore this evening, I'll be skipping ahead past the point where Raige convinces the Dolt to enter counseling with his vicious shrew of a wife -- again -- to get to the bit where Raige's deadbeat drunk of a genetic father orbs into the foyer from points unknown to barf all over his estranged daughter's Jimmy Choos, promo-style. Oh, I'm sorry. My bad. That was actually a plot point from three years ago. It's also pretty much the only Raige-related plot point from that episode that they didn't recycle for this one. Ass. This show is ass. "It's good to see you," the deadbeat drunk opens. "Sam?" Raige splutters. "Don't you mean 'Dad'?" he replies, genially enough. Yawn.