Charmed
The Lost Picture Show

Episode Report Card
Demian: F | Grade It Now!
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The One Where Demian Loses His Mind. Again.

otohP kciwdahC. J.D. arrives and almost immediately gets sporked by Vaklav, who never had any intention of letting Sam go, like, duh. Vaklav retrieves his camera from the countertop and squiggles into the final commercial break.

Kitchen. The lispy Retard stands by the sink in the darkened room, and Phoebe enters in that ridiculous half-sweater thing of hers to remind The Retard that they can't save every innocent that crosses their path, and I saw this scene with Prue, and I saw this scene with Piper, and I saw this scene with Phoebe, and I saw this scene with Raige, and I never needed to see this scene again, so let's head back up to...

...the nonexistent attic, shall we? And that, actually, was a lousy idea, because I hate what happens next. Piper and the Dolt -- Krause. Kissing. Mmmm. AUAUUUUUAAUGH! -- convince Raige that she'll be able to summon Sam to the nonexistent room by calling for him as her father, rather than as her fellow magical entity. And it works. Despite the fact that Raige clearly isn't into it at all, and despite the fact that this entire bit of contrivance gives lie to Phoebe's claim down in the kitchen that they can't save every innocent who crosses their path because, obviously, had Raige done this four scenes ago, J.D. would still be alive. I hate this show.

So. Anyway. "Dad?" Raige calls out. Sam immediately rays into the room, followed quickly by the other twelve people from the collage, and if this collection of losers represents the intended future of Whitelighterdom, it's no wonder witches are always getting blown up by demons on this show. Vaklav immediately squiggles into the nonexistent room with his now-empty sheet of photography paper and his camera, conveniently enough. After raging for a moment, Vaklav hurls a Flaming Ball Of Death in Raige's direction, but Piper deploys her Mighty Hands Of Discontent to set off a mid-air explosion that sends the FBOD ricocheting back into Vaklav's chest. Vaklav crashes to the floor -- after apparently taking the time to place his camera down carefully on the table in the middle of the room. This hateful, hateful show. Raige races over to retrieve the thing and, perking, "Smile!" snaps the shutter, sending Vaklav into the collage. Well, what would be the collage, were he not the only person in it. And that was a rather unsatisfying vanquish, wasn't it? Though after the last hour of crap, I don't know what I was expecting. Raige picks her way across the carpet to retrieve the sheet from where it had fallen earlier and, displaying the Vaklav's image for the benefit of Piper and Sam, twits, "I think I'll have this one framed!" No, moron, you should have that one destroyed. If you never want the demon in question to escape, that is. Whatever. "What about them?" the Dolt wonders, nodding his head in the direction of the dozen stupidly dressed future Whitelighters in the corner of the attic. The camera spends far too long gazing at the idiots in question before the shot cross-fades into...

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Charmed

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