The Lost Picture Show

Episode Report Card
Demian: F | Grade It Now!
The One Where Demian Loses His Mind. Again.

Manor Sun Porch. Sam eases the still grievously injured and unconscious J.D. onto the wicker love seat. Which has got to be the most uncomfortable place possible for the poor guy, like, there are at least three overstuffed and full-length sofas not twenty feet from where you're standing, you worthless drunk, and anyway, couldn't you have orbed him onto a bed up in one of the boudoirs? These people are assholes. Aren't you happy they're all that stands between us and some sort of demonic Armageddon? "Why would a demon take him out of 1955, only to try to kill him now?" Raige wonders. Honey, I've seen this episode twice already, and I still don't know. I can guess, but that will have to wait for the appropriate moment, I suppose. Raige and Sam strain their weeny little brains over plot points of which the audience is already aware until Raige finally demands, "Just heal him! Maybe he'll know something." Sam immediately nixes this idea. He's worried that J.D.'ll "freak out" if he wakes up "fifty years in the future," you see. "He'll take off," Sam asserts. "I know him -- I barely got him to trust me before he disappeared." And because this endless chatter is boring me, I find myself wondering whatever happened to the delightful Mitchell Haines, Raige's future Whitelighter who had trust issues of his own. Now that was a fun episode. Can I just recap that one again and call it a day? Hmmm?

I can't? Dammit. Fine: Long story short, Raige reveals that she's surrounded the sun porch with a protective circle of Mystical Crysticals, and suggests they consult further with Agent Murphy on the matter, as the good agent mentioned numerous other cases of people vanishing under mysterious circumstances. Which...couldn't be more vaguely related to the issue at hand if it tried, could it? What, they're going to chat about Jimmy Hoffa? D.B. Cooper? Who? Pity they finally found Judge Crater back in August. That would have made for a delightfully obscure reference to toss into the recap at this point. Anyway, at the mention of Murphy's name, Sam warily asks -- about four scenes after he should have, mind you -- "What part of the government does he work for again?" "The super-creepy part," Mugs McGowan twitches, and I'd be inclined to agree with that assessment, if by "super-creepy" Raige had of course meant "abominably incompetent," which she didn't, so whatever, and moving on: Sam remains seated by J.D.'s side while Raige rises to head over to the incompetent federal department's San Francisco bureau. And...scene.

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