Touched By A Zzzzzz. A fortyish woman who just happens to be black answers her doorbell to find Phoebe. Long and boring story shorter but still boring, Phoebe tortures the woman with the bracelet for a while until Prue, from around the corner, produces the daughter for a tearful reunion. I'm crying too. In anger. This girl couldn't have found her mother on her own? She's fifteen, for God's sake, and if Prue and Phoebe could get her and bring her here, she wasn't being held against her will. And again, where have the police been for the past ten years? Fuck you, Touched By A Skank subplot. Fuck you a lot. Phoebe and Prue cuddle up in the hallway, congratulating themselves, but just before the chunks in my throat reach the point of no return, Prue's cell phone interrupts. They're not leaving a very good taste, though, and I'm not exactly relying on the rest of the episode to be minty fresh. Anyway, Piper's not feeling well, and you know that Prue's thinking, "If she's actually sick enough to call, it's time to phone the guys from Outbreak." Which was probably written by the same person that penned this sludge. Argh. I need someone to share my pain.
Demian: Ha! Not even through the first recap and you're dying! Amateur.
Couch Baron: Don't be so mean! I'm taking this dreck off your hands.
Demian: You asked for it. Hee. What a maroon.
Couch Baron: You're right. I'm an idiot. But can I just ask you one thing? It would really help me out.
Demian: Fire away, rookie.
Couch Baron: What's a zoo?
That was low, but as I said, I needed someone to share my pain.
Wendy and Andy pick a position in the park. Wendy slyly gets Andy to turn off his cell phone, and then blathers about how she was so in love with her boyfriend and he just up and disappeared, so she took steps never to feel that way again, which requires a rather large amount of fanwankery to make sense, but I just don't have the energy here. Also, Wendy, the jilted woman-turned-murderer game is owned on this show by Melinda Clarke, so two words for you: Give. Up. Wendy then starts blatantly hitting on Andy. Just between you and me? He totally wants to nail her.