Charmed
The Wendigo

Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: C+ | 3 USERS: A
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And On This Week's Bastardization Theater...

When she's gone, Piper turns the page, and finds an entry on her creature, which is called, unsurprisingly, "The Wendigo." We get a good look at a rather lengthy entry on the Wendigo, part of which reads, "The Wendigo is a non-dead creature that roams the earth destroying the good-hearted and those in love. His fate is to wander the earth feasting on human hearts." The first Wendigo apparently fed on the heart of a lover that betrayed him, and his heart was turned to ice as a result. Also, the Wendigo looks like a human except when the full moon is out. I did a quick search for the Wendigo, incidentally, and the legend of this creature does exist, but although the Charmed version is a bastardization, it's not offensively so, unlike many, many examples I could mention, so I won't dwell on it. Also, this short story was based on the legend of the Wendigo.

Look at me, doing research for a Charmed recap! Aren't I just the cutest thing?

Sigh.

Oh, good, a scene I can fast-forward through. Prue's showing Phoebe the room where they keep the stuff they auction off on behalf of the city. I didn't know cities farmed that task out to expensive auction houses when they could do it themselves, but whatever. After mentioning that the stuff they don't sell gets tossed (dude, eBay), Prue asks about the next lot, which is a "gold bracelet" estimated at $375. The thing has a heart on it with the initials "T.L." To my untrained eye, its worth looks south of $3.75. The fact that Phoebe slobbers over it isn't doing much to change my opinion, either. Everything's going just hunky-dory between Prue and Phoebe until Phoebe paws the cheap trinket and is flung into a grainy premonition wherein she sees a car veer off a hilly road. She calls to Prue, who's already closing the door she just started to open without having gone through it, like, nice directing there. Phoebe informs her eldest sister of what she saw, and Prue, of course, freaks when Phoebe declares that she has to find out to whom it belongs. This tedious scene is interrupted by the arrival of Claire, Prue's new boss as of "Feats Of Clay," whose purpose is to inform the audience that the auction is that day, and also to admire the tacky-assed jewelry with a "That should sell quickly." Two words, Claire: As. If.

[72virg=ins]. Piper tells a strung-out-acting Mikey the name of the creature. She then informs him that it feeds on human hearts. Mikey: "WHAT?" First off, sweet Mary, Mikey, you are one of the worst actors I've ever seen. Try a new facial expression. You can't do any worse than this one. Second, a savage animal ripped out your fiancée's heart in front of you, and you're shocked to learn that it was feeding? If these are the people Piper encounters in the course of her day, maybe it actually makes sense that she thinks Phoebe's a brain trust. Well, nah, but still, this guy's sure a low-wattage bulb. Piper tells him most of what she learned from the book, and Mikey, looking like he just downed an entire bottle of No-Doz or something, speculates that it takes love away from others. Piper doesn't volunteer the part about the Wendigo going after people with good hearts or those in love, but if I could read the damn book using the pause button, she should have been able to memorize the damn entry. Besides, this scene is pointless filler in an episode that's been far too slow already, so let's cut to the chase: Piper reminds Mikey of his wife, a revelation that makes Piper look more uncomfortable than a virgin at a prison rodeo. She tells him the Wendigo will attack again that night, and he calls her a "Ph.D. in Wendigo." Good thing I'm a Ph.D. in cleaning projectile vomit off computer monitors. It's a requirement for a job at TWoP.

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