Thump! Be more funny! Prue and Piper enter to compliment Melinda on her new look. Melinda idly wonders how modern gals keep their legs warm. "We drink coffee," Prue replies. Thump! Be more funny! And oh, thank God -- here comes the Dolt.
Whoa. Did I just say, "Thank God -- here comes the Dolt"? Shoot me. Now.
The Dolt bumbles into Phoebe's room unannounced, then immediately apologizes for barging in. Idiot. Phoebe introduces Melinda as their cousin. Piper tells Melinda that the Dolt's there to upgrade the Manor's plumbing. Melinda doesn't know what plumbing is. And I'm getting a migraine. I'll not be transcribing any more of these "gags," okay, because they make no sense. Melinda didn't slip into some alternate universe after she died -- she was a ghost, for Christ's sake. As such, she would have become familiar with recent and not-so-recent technological developments, right? Whatever. She's not familiar with them, so just assume that whenever Melinda encounters something novel from here on out, she says something stupid. She is a blonde, after all, so I guess that works. Melinda does attempt to cover for her ignorance by stammering, "To work with one's hands is a great gift." The Dolt's response? A breezy "Well, 'I am a true laborer: I earn that I eat, get that I wear.'" "'Owe no man hate, envy no man's happiness,'" Melinda replies with delight. I'll give Melinda a pass on knowing Shakespeare, but the Dolt? No way. He can't even read, can he? The Ps plus Melinda book on out of there as the Dolt smiles gently at their retreating forms. Shut up, Dolt.
"Halliwell Hardware And Appliance." Fabio crosses in front of the owner of the store, who's splayed crucifixion-style on the wall. Unfortunately, the guy's no Piper Laurie in Carrie. Fabio appears to have propped the dead guy up on some display brackets after having snapped his neck. Hannah and the Wimp pop into the shop and make with the introductions. Fabio insists he works alone. The Wimp notes that Fabio's leaving a trail of dead Halliwells, and if Fabio doesn't accept their offer of assistance, the police will catch him before he can off the Glamorous Ladies. Fabio glumly agrees to follow Hannah and the Wimp wherever they may lead.