There's Something About Leo

Episode Report Card
Demian: B | Grade It Now!
There's Something About The Dolt

...oh. Fuck. ME. NOW one of the foul fairies is regaling his rapt fellow partygoers with tales of his sordid faux-heterosexual past when he was -- horrors! -- married to a woman. These fucking idiots are all in their forties. How have they managed to reach that age without ever meeting addled fags who were once wed? Or Jews, for Christ's sake? Why are these topics of such interest? HATE.

Oh, and fuck me again, some more. "Dammit," the Dolt breathes quietly upon the Glamorous Ladies' exit before clenching his fists and whipping around to unleash The Angrily Constipated Chimpanzee Face Of Unwatchable Ire And Rage as he screams, "I SAID NO!" Stow it, pantywaist. The shot distorts and flares quickly from red through orange to white before snapping back to the regular palette as the camera rears back from the Dolt's head to skitter backwards up the stairs, through the darkened second floor hall, and up the second flight of stairs to rock through the nonexistent attic before landing on the stupefied Dolt as he watches Piper impale her finger on the pushpin once again. The really fun bit about that sequence is that all of the dialogue up to this point rewound itself on the soundtrack in hushed, garbled, murmuring tones as the camera shot back up to the top of the episode. This show is so much better when they don't half-ass their way through the special effects. "What happened?" the suddenly shifty-eyed Dolt hisses. "Nothing a little sleep won't fix," an annoyed Piper eyebrows distractedly. "Didn't you just say that?" the stupid Dolt, not getting it, wonders as he darts over towards the table. Actually, Dolt, she said, "Nothing a little sleep can't fix." Can't you read? Piper, barely paying attention to him, mumbles something in response before the Dolt draws himself up short as he realizes what just happened. Piper repeats her lines about the next demon attack as the Dolt remains stunned and mute, then rises to cross to the door, idly wondering if Phoebe and Raige have "finished that dye." The Dolt stands silent for a moment too long before pulling it together and admitting he doesn't know. Piper hesitates, clearly about to rip him a new one over her Issues Of The Week, before thinking the better of it and whisking out of the room with a dismissive "Never mind." The Dolt stands frozen in place, gaping after her as she disappears down the stairs.

Now The Only Jew In Boystown is explaining how the Democrats lost Aunt Fannie and Uncle Mort's votes down in Port Charlotte, and thus the entire state of Florida. And somebody just cracked unwise about "giving five cents to a Jew." HATE.

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