Trial By Magic

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | Grade It Now!
Guineas and goombahs and wops, oh my!

Manor. Aftermath. Raige paces and frets over the fate of her kidnapped kindergarten slampiece. Piper wonders why demons would hire a human to launder money in the first place. The Dolt notes that demons need money to move unnoticed through the world, which is something Cole told them all last season, like, get on the stick, you morons. Raige fears that without a bargaining chip, they have no assurance that Ratman won't just kill Glenn even if they do give him the tape. The Dolt has a suggestion. Ratman is more than likely an underling charged only with the day-to-day operations of Arthur Andersen's House Of Magical Accounting. If they go over Ratman's head to his boss, they might be able to broker a deal. Either the chief of the entire operation guarantees Glenn's safety in exchange for Guinea Wike's confession, or the Charmed Ones will take down the whole organization. Piper finds this promising. She proposes that Phoebe and Raige head to the club to bluff for more time while she and the Dolt head to Pier 86 to negotiate. Raige nixes this idea. She was the one who threw her kidnapped kindergarten slampiece in harm's way. Therefore, she should be the one to negotiate with the rat's boss. After Piper and Phoebe voice a few misgivings, the four agree on Raige's version of the plan. Raige and the Dolt orb out.

Pier 86, and it's lousy with rats. Raige calls out a few threats involving exposure and the Charmed Ones and whatnot. Various rats respond by morphing up into black-clad demonic enforcers. There's an abundance of unfortunate facial hair here, and a lot of it appears to be glued on. The head rat -- and no, I will not be making a "dirty knees" joke, nor will I be calling him "Tony Soprano" -- approaches and leers into Raige's face: "We're listening." Cut to the club. Piper and Raige confront Ratman and demand that he release Glenn. Ratman agrees to do so only after he's received the audiocassette. He also notes that should anything unfortunate befall him, the crappy CGI ring of red flame will decapitate the kidnapped kindergarten slampiece. Oh, don't make promises you know you can't keep, Ratty. I would love to see that happen, but I'm not going to hold my breath. Phoebe hands him Guinea Wike's taped confession. Ratman, naturally, reneges on his promise and tightens the ring around Glenn's neck. Suddenly, Ratman himself bursts into flame and blazes his merry way down to Hell. After he's gone, the High Rat Council squiggles onto the stage. One of the henchrats kneels to retrieve the tape, which, oddly enough, didn't go up in flames along with Ratman. Raige and the Dolt orb in off to the side, and Raige immediately races over to Glenn. After receiving assurances that he's holding the only copy of Wike's confession, the head rat releases Glenn, who snipers to the stage amid wails and groans. The head rat notes that they'll "consider this one a draw," and squiggles out with the henchrats. The Ps plus Glenn and the Dolt gape at each other.

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