Used Karma

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | Grade It Now!
Mata Whori

Bondage A Go-Go. Yawn. We meet the Swarm King, and while I must admit that the actor has a fine screen presence, none of this matters, because he'll be dead by the end of the hour. For what it's worth, he rallies his battered and decimated clones by promising to bring the fight to the Charmed Ones. Whatever.

Attic. Piper and Raige stand at the Book, shooting a pair of wary side-eyes at the Aura Cleanse. "I'm confused," Piper confesses. "How does cleansing her aura get [Chronic] back?" "Phoebe didn't cast the spell," Raige duhs. "[Buttfuck] did." "[Buttfuck] wants [Chronic] back?" Piper puzzles. Heh. Raige babbles her way through an explanation of Buttfuck's intentions, all the while understanding that whatever he ended up doing backfired to disastrous effect. "There's all this unfinished karma just floating around out there waiting to complete its cycle," she explains. Piper rolls her eyes and plants her head on her hand to sigh, "What the hell are you talking about?" "I'm talking about [Buttfuck] screwing with the karmic wheel and Phoebe getting smacked down by it," Raige grunts, guessing that Phoebe's double life and lies to Chronic likely acted as a magnet for bad karma. "Someone's unfinished bad karma?" Piper prompts, with both bone-aching weariness and "Christ on a stick, it's happening again?" levels of disbelief coloring her tone. "But whose?" Raige nods. Piper deadpans, "I'd guess a French hooker, by the way she's been acting." Hee. Raige orders Piper to retrieve Phoebe while she goes in search of Buttfuck. "But what if he's infected too?" Piper sniffs. "Well," Raige calls over her shoulder as she sails out of the attic, "I'll save him, and then I'll kill him." Piper arches a brow.

Castle Montanague. Raige enters to find Buttfuck huddled over reams of parchment on the desk in his dead father's study. She clomps into the room and snots, "Cast any spells lately?" Buttfuck jumps to his feet in denial for a lengthy moment before copping to that morning's special effects sequence in the attic. "I was cleansing my soul," he protests. "Yeah, yeah," Raige peeves. "Cut down to the bottom: What happened when you said the spell, exactly?" Buttfuck describes the swirling cloud of karmic plasma, but insists that nothing came of it. "It hit Phoebe," Raige flatly states. "I was there alone!" he counters. "Then how do you explain my sister walking around like she's in the nudie version of Les Miz?" Raige spits. "What were you thinking?" "I was thinking about us," he protests. "I don't want my past to hurt you." Raige softens a bit at this, and I almost start to care about this scene, but then they launch into this tedious and long-winded discussion regarding Buttfuck's mysterious and annoying problems with magic, and I tune them both out until they finally get to the frigging point: Buttfuck will whip up a potion that's certain to cure Phoebe, but Raige insists that he not make a bad situation worse by messing with magic again. She flounces on out of there while Buttfuck gazes sadly after her.

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