Charmed
Charmed

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 383 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
SPARKLE, Phoebe, SPARKLE! (Part I)

Anyway, Big Gay Chris argues that the ever-useless Elders can well handle the Dolt, but for every minute Piper's powers remain on the fritz, the Glamorous Ladies leave themselves open to ever-increasing amounts of danger. Phoebe and Raige bang their heads together to realize the Dolt must have mojoed Piper's "pain" during his last visit. Should they manage to restore Piper's memory and reconnect her to the anguish she feels over her ex-husband's abandonment, or so they reason, Piper's powers should snap back into place. Raige proposes immediate work on a "magical laxative" for their errant sibling, so Phoebe crosses to the cordless to cancel her foul lunch date with Dipshit. When she reaches the restaurant, however, she learns he's already phoned to cancel the reservation. An outraged Feebs jiggles off to "grill" "a DJ." The Fag and His Hag roll their eyes at each other all, "What's her problem?"

The BASH!! Hangin' Dipshit's just scored a flame-broiled brat over at the Weber when Phoebe and Her Fucking Backup Band arrive to confront him. You know what? The hell with this stupid scene. We're never going to see the Dipshit or his bratwurst again, so let's cut to the chase: Phoebe and Her Fucking Backup Band read every single one of Dipshit's stereotypically chauvinistic emotions, then proceed to channel the anguish of some five-year-old shrike who took a digger on the Rollerblade path nearby. After far too much of this, Phoebe realizes something potentially exciting has happened to her powers, and leaves.

Well. That was relatively painless, wasn't it?

Oh, hell. Up in the attic, poor Rose McGowan's getting humped by that runty bulldog again. Honey, just quit. It's not worth it anymore. As the other mutts in the pack busily rip various priceless antiques to shreds, Raige argues on the cordless with her boss at the agency. She'd like a little more time to return the dogs to their proper owners, you see, but the boss man's having none of it. Raige eventually caves and agrees to deliver the mongrels within the hour, just as Chris calls up from the parlor below to announce Piper's return from P3. The runty bulldog presumably has yet to come.

Charmed

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