We All Scream For Ice Cream

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Demian: D+ | Grade It Now!
We All Scream For Ice Cream

Phoebe then notes that, because the Ice-Cream Man is mortal, they need a mortal to gain entry to the van. They ask Victor if he'll help them, and he agrees. Cut to the four walking down a sidewalk, Piper and Prue in front with Victor and Phoebe, arms linked, trailing several paces behind. Prue bitches some more about the sisters' need to enlist their absentee father's aid in this endeavor. Piper, for some reason, tolerates the rant. Behind them, Phoebe reassures Victor that she never thought he left on his own accord. He apologizes for being a bad parent. I prop my eyelids open with toothpicks and light another cigarette. I will never make it through this episode. This episode is my personal Molesterland, but alas, there is no Molester to show this innocent the way to the portal.

They arrive at the alley where Prue and Phoebe last saw the van. The van has disappeared. The demon brats have followed them, and The Plaited Princess blows them a kiss that sends the four flying back into piles of trash. The demon brats scamper off again, snickering, as Prue cracks non-wise about how the brats' "need to be grounded." The four pick themselves up and dust themselves off. Piper and Phoebe chase after the brats, leaving Prue and Victor alone to find the truck. Victor quickly determines that the van has been towed, and Prue and Victor head off for the city impound lot. Once there, they find the van parked next to a wall. Prue attempts to TK the back door open, and fails. She tells Victor to get on with it, and when he hesitates, she asks him what's wrong. He replies that "chasing demons isn't [his] day job." Prue instructs him to concentrate on the physical act of opening the door, warning him that should he focus instead on Molesterland inside, he'll fail. Victor takes a deep breath, leans in, and unlatches the back of the van. That was tense. Not.

Prue and Victor enter Molesterland, and, after a brief search, spot the Molester huddled in the snow at the base of a tree, holding his badly-burned hands away from his body. Victor notes The Nothing is moving in for some sucking action, and tells Prue he remembers seeing what it did to the demon children twenty-odd years ago. The Molester reveals to Prue that he knew she and Phoebe were Charmed Ones as soon as he pulled them into Molesterland. Oh, yeah? Then why did you sneak up behind them to scream into their faces in that earlier scene? It's called "continuity." Would someone on staff please look that fucking word up? Huh? Please? God. Seems the Molester has the same "friends in high places" that the Halliwells have. Prue and Victor pull the Molester to his feet and drag him to the portal. The Nothing makes a couple of loud noises. The Molester tells Prue that they have to reactivate the Demonic Chord, and tells Prue to reach into the pocket of his shirt. There she finds a crystal, which apparently is a replacement part for the Chord. The Molester pushes Prue and Victor away from him, noting that, unlike the two of them, Ice-Cream Men can be replaced. The Nothing sucks him on out of there. Prue gazes at the spot where the Molester had been standing for a moment, and then Victor moves in. Telling her she didn't fail the Molester, he yanks her out of frame towards the portal.

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