Manor kitchen. Raige futzes at the center island with the vanquish ingredients as Piper prepares a little fruit plate for the Feebs. She suggests that Raige remain in the kitchen, where she will not "provoke" the Phoetus. Raige bitches about this for a little while, then shuts up and gets back to work.
Piper emerges into the dining room to find Phoebe pressing headphones against her stomach as a CD of Mozart's Eine Kleine Nachtmusik spins around in a portable player. Phoebe's trying "to bring out [the Phoetus's] peaceful nature" with the music. Piper's aghast at her sister's abject stupidity. They natter about prenatal care as Phoebe picks a wedge of watermelon from the plate. It morphs into a slice of raw steak. Mmmm. Steak. Piper bats the meat out of Phoebe's hand right before Phoebe shoves it into her yammering maw. They actually make Holly Marie Combs deliver the line, "Maybe your baby would prefer to listen to Ozzy." Oh, Holly. How I weep bitter, bloody tears for you. Just one more episode, and you can put all of this bullshit behind you. For three months. Unless you piss off Alyssa, of course, and then it will be forever.
In orbeth the Dolt, with the non-stunning Elders-sent revelation that D'Eartha wants the Phoetus. Asswipe. Piper asserts that the next time D'Eartha tries to attack, the Glamorous Ladies will be ready for her. She calls out to Raige, asking after the condition of the vanquishing potion. Raige pops in to note that it just needs to cool. Phoebe immediately bolts to her feet to unleash a gout of flame from her palm towards Raige's startled form. Raige jumps back, dumping the entire potion into the carpet. Bitchery ensues, and quite a lot of it, too. Piper orders Phoebe and Raige not to set foot in the same room until Phoebe can "find a way to control Chucky" in the Book of Shadows. Raige shrieks that it's not her fault, and that maybe the Phoetus is picking up on some residual animosity Phoebe harbors for Raige. Piper tells Raige to zip it and whip up another batch of the vanquish with the remaining section of earlobe. Phoebe, meanwhile, whines that she can't do BoS research because she's supposed to meet Darryl over at the missing persons bureau. Piper howls in disbelief that Phoebe would even consider leaving the Manor with the Phoetus acting up the way it is. Phoebe basically says, "Deal with it, bitch," and flounces out to the front door. Piper sends her husband after Phoebe to ensure that nothing too extreme happens while Phoebe's being interviewed, like the Dolt's meager level of assistance is any solution to their current problem. Piper shrills and snits some more before stomping up the stairs to check the Book of Shadows herself. You know, now would be a perfect time for Grams to materialize in the Manor and beat some sense into these women. Did Jennifer Rhodes join Kit the Cat in that great show-business retirement community in the sky while I wasn't paying attention?













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