Charmed
Wrestling With Demons

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Demian: B | Grade It Now!
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Wrestling with the Nielsens

Cut to the former football captain himself, entering an office somewhere in the city. It resembles the same set they used for the Demonic Day Traders in "Magic Hour," only they've replaced the laptops and bad eighties art with sports paraphernalia. A thin-lipped, white-knuckled white boy sits across a desk from Ron Perlman, whom he addresses as "Mr. Kellman." Screw that. He's "Ron" for the duration. Thin Lips splutters to Ron that he'll pay off his debt to Ron somehow. Ron, not having it, rises from his chair and strides around the desk as Thin Lips rises to his feet. Ron Perlman effortlessly personifies menace in just about everything I've ever seen him in, so I won't bother you with any redundant description of his manner in this or any other scene he has this evening. The guy just oozes evil from every pore and through every gravelly-voiced word he utters. Wow. They finally cast a guest demon who can really act. One-note acting, but still. Go figure. Thin Lips tells Ron he'll "do anything." Ron raises a hand, and elevator doors morph into view in the wall behind him. Ron assures Thin Lips that he will, indeed, do anything, and tosses Thin Lips into the Elevator Of Doom. Thin Lips screams, "No!" as the doors slide shut, and we get a shot of the Elevator Of Doom zooming downwards to nether regions unknown.

The elevator doors morph back into a wall. Ron adjusts his lapels and approaches Tom. "I don't have to go over all this with you, too?" Ron asks. Tom assures Ron that his failure to dust Chang is "a temporary setback." Ron exposits that just as Tom has a contract with him, Ron himself has a contract with The Source. Ron has to graduate five full-fledged demons by the following evening, or he is toast. Tom fills him in on Prue's intervention the previous night, but says he's certain that Prue has no idea where he is.

Ron decides there is no immediate danger to himself or Tom, as Prue is apparently tracking the innocents rather than the demons. So, of course, he grabs that morning's Metro section and sends Tom after the woman who appears in the photo above the fold. Tom sets off as Ron tells him to "hurry, or there'll be hell to pay." Ha ha not. It is never explained why the victims are chosen from the paper; nor is it explained why Ron continues to use this method of selection now that Prue is onto them. Tom could just slaughter the first person he comes across, but then I suppose we wouldn't have anywhere to go with this episode, so I guess I'll shut up. I'm just glad Contrivance is stuck in New York. The gas bills for the water heater have been bad enough this winter without Contrivance spending all of his downtime in my shower. ["Don't count your chickens yet, my friend. Contrivance spent most of last night hogging my computer to check Priceline." -- Sars]

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Charmed

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