Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1 USERS: F
Sarah Versus The Whole Entire World

Chuck escapes from the Belgian and runs out into the jungle, immediately calling Ellie on his cell phone so that she can yell at him about how he needs to flash, and I don't know about you but they kinda got me that time, because you know that Sarah is close by but he doesn't know that so it almost seems plausible. Except for that it's totally not plausible, and he figures that out a second after I did and probably weeks after you did, because you understand that TV is not real and sometimes they mess with you a little bit. Plus it's sad because it's Ellie and she's the best part of this entire show and she will always fix it, whatever it is, unless of course she is imaginary, in which case the world is a heartless place.

While Sarah defeats the guy through more music and bad-ass moves, earning Chuck's location, the bad man appears in Chuck's bizarre dream and this is literally what he says: "My name is Dr. Mueller. I'm the one doing this to you. If you don't access the Intersect, I will be erasing everything that is you: Your thoughts, your memories, your life. I'm very real. Now, Chuck, do you want to disappear or do you want to give me the Intersect?"

Sarah apologizes to Casey about beating his ass, but Casey has taken the interesting turn of blaming Morgan for telling her about the proposal and thus activating her Women Are All Crazy chip that all women have because they are crazy. Casey gives Sarah a bunch of AK in support of her mission and then some very odd thing I don't even have a word for happens, where Morgan goes like this: "It's like your gun is your soul. Your metaphorical yes to a question she couldn't possibly bring herself to ask!"

What? Possibly this is a reference to something I'm never going to get, maybe related to the next line -- "Rear with the gear," Casey Full Metal Jackets at him -- but it seems more likely that this is just the show thinking it's smarter than it really is. Or maybe Morgan doing a weird Adam Brody-type line-reading that throws it all off, making it seem both more and less comprehensible. I don't imagine anybody heard that line and a light bulb went off, I guess I'm saying. More likely it sounded garbled and crazy and you let it slide without really caring what he said.

Initiating Phase III, which will take approximately as long as it takes for Sarah to find Chuck, presumably. Chuck wakes up on the floor of the Buy More surrounded by those guys, and still knows that something's up: "Like The Manchurian Candidate, or that episode of either Family Ties or Hogan's Family." It's funny he mentions Manchurian Candidate because this show has always reminded me of my very favorite part of that movie, or most movies: When they show the guy all the cards at once and he sees God. I love that shit so bad. Anyway, he's dreaming, but this time he doesn't wake up because they are erasing his mind.

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